Wednesday, December 16, 2015

We're All A Little Weird... Or Is It Just Me?

Sometimes I do things and I can't explain why I do them. I'm definitely an odd duck but sometimes these things that I do are so outrageous or stupid that people don't believe it's happened. And then sometimes things happen to me also that I can't explain and I feel like I'm putting out an odd vibe into the universe. I've learned to embrace it. I'm weird - this is not news, this is not changing. But in the last 10 days, my life has been extra ridiculous. Today I am confessing...

Things That Have 100% Happened To Me Recently

- I ran into an ex-boyfriend at a dingy bar when I was with my whole family and took the two dollar ring on my finger and placed it on my ring finger. You know, so he knows how much I have my life together...

- I wanted to avoid someone in the mall so I picked up my cellphone and pretended to be on it and then it rang... really loud.. and it's the Jurassic Park theme. Because everything on my phone was set to Jurassic Park. So that was fun.

- I changed all my ringtones on my phone right after this to everything Christmas related. I changed my alarm clock to Carol of the Bells by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And scared myself awake the next morning. As in I fell out of my bed and scared the crap out of my dog. I then changed it back to Jurassic Park.

- I've recently taken to replacing song lyrics with my dog's name. So this morning as she was doing her business outside I was full on singing to the tune of Star Wars "Lu-naaaa -aaaaa Lu-na Lu-naaaa-aaa. Lu-na Lu-naaa-aaa. Lu-na Lu-naaaa." As we came around the side of the building there was someone standing there smirking. So that happened. I didn't think anyone else would be out at 6 am....

- I tried to do an interpretive dance to Elastic Heart by Sia with my dog and she got really scared and ran behind the recliner. Apparently I'm a really bad dancer?

- I got pretty tipsy on Friday night and decided that 10 pm was a great time to take Luna for a walk. By myself. In the dark. Through a developing suburb. Where no one lives. I thought I was going to be murdered and burst into tears when I realized I was 2 blocks from home and might end up a statistic. Her growling didn't help my situation. So like from now on... no more drunk night walks.

- I burst into tears when I watched the new Fantastic Beasts trailer and then promptly watched it 6 more times. I was crying because I am not, in fact, a witch and never will be.

- I wanted to stalk someone on Instagram but got worried my fat thumbs would give me away. So I created an Instagram account for the sole purpose of stalking and not worrying about accidentally liking anything. I log into it far more than is healthy.

- I planned out an elaborate Love, Actually confession and played it in my mind and then drank enough wine to convince myself to do it and then fell asleep on top of the construction paper in my room. I woke up and realized the universe was looking out for me for once. #dodgedthatbullet #whatarefeelings?

Linking up for Humpday Confessions!



  2. I am seriously laughing so hard right now that I don't think I could control myself even if I tried. The cell phone ringing Jurassic Park loudly is so freakin' classic!

    Also, I need you to do the Love, Actually thing because nosy me needs to know the story RIGHT NOW!

  3. Drunk walks happen to me alllllll the time. I'm pretty sure Starla smells me and is like..."Oh boy, we're going to go for an interesting walk tonight."

  4. BRB off to watch the Fantastic Beasts trailer.

  5. Hahahahahaha I hate when I pretend like I am on my phone and then it rings. Like cant you tell you are in the up to ear position. I thought you were a smart phone?!?!?!

  6. Fortunately, my phone is ALWAYS on silent or vibrate. That would suck! haha

  7. ha-ha this is why we're friends. More weird life stuff, please. For our entertainment!

    I sent you my real comment / inquiry over gchat!

  8. ahhahahahaha omg.

    first, do you accidentally Instagram like things THAT MUCH?

    second, a dude once did that Love, Actually scene business to me and failed SO HARD at it, that it almost ruined that scene for me. It's probably for the best that you didn't bring that one to fruition.

    third, I've also been caught singing to and about Ziggy very loudly outside during walks. Awkward.

    fourth, did he see the ring..? Is he mad jeally now? did he accidentally IG like one from the archives while trying to confirm or deny?!