Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Ghosting

I have a little bit of a rant today. So if you're not interested in reading the words of a woman scorned, then I will give you a second to leave. 

..
..
..

Alright, that's enough. 

Dating is hard. Like, way more difficult than getting my university degree and I'm not even exaggerating. I'd rather take statistics like 500 times than have to deal with the dating landscape of 2015. With technology being so pervasive in dating culture, it's not hard to see why. We all go into knowing that with one swipe something better could come along. Constantly being connected hasn't led to us being more together as a society, in fact, sometimes it can make you feel even more alone. We have this constant need to prove we can do better, have better, be better. 

Technology puts up a barrier that never used to exist. It dehumanizes the person/people you communicate with. It's never been easier to drop someone and move on to the next. Look, I have no problem being dumped. It happens. I get that sometimes two people don't mesh, or one person isn't interested anymore, and when someone tells me "hey I don't think it's going to work out", I gather up my pride and move on. But that's only when someone has the decency to actually COMMUNICATE that with me. 

Which brings me to today's topic: Ghosting. No I don't mean this kind of ghost. 


For those unfamiliar with the term, in today's modern dating culture, Ghosting refers to the act of completely falling off the face of the earth without telling the person you are seeing that you are in fact, over it. It means disappearing. Like 100% ceasing communication one day without any slight indication as to what happened, or why, or if you're even dead or alive. 

And that is the biggest dick move you could ever pull you slimy coward. Nothing is worse than assuming you're going to be seeing someone on the weekend, and the day-of they stop answering your texts. They don't tell you why they no longer wish to speak to you, the days before were normal and there was nothing in the conversations that would lead me to suspect that this wasn't working out. In fact, telling someone you want to make time for them, and making them feel special, and then dropping off the face of the goddamn earth, while still looking at their snapchats, is deplorable. 

Next time dudes, grow some balls and be a man. Just tell her you're not interested. It's uncomfortable but at least it won't make us go all Carrie Underwood on your ass. 



(For the record I would never actually do this but it feels pretty good to imagine doing it in my head.)

8 comments

  1. a grown ass man did that? well then now you know that he's a selfish prick and don't need that bullshit in your life. good riddance!

    sorry that happened to you but you're better off without that piece of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  2. (not because of ghosting but still because of a jerk boy) I almost bought a bunch of plates from a thrift store just so I could smash them against the wall. The idea sounded so satisfying! Maybe you could try that, instead. :)
    I am so sorry that you had to experience that. He is obviously NOT a man. Still a child. Perhaps a baby.

    P.S. that ghost gif is hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh girl PREACH!
    i literally loath ghosting - it just shows me that they lack courage and character.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I completely agree, and I'm sorry he did that to you. I've had it done to me, and it feels awful. I make it a really big point in the beginning of any relationship to establish the kind of communication I want to have. Because I agree, it has to be intentional or, given this day and age, it's so easy to get it wrong. I like to *talk* to people. I say what I mean and mean what I say, and make sure the person I'm talking to knows that and feels encouraged to do the same. I don't say I'm fine when I'm not, I don't say I love you when I don't, and I don't say I want to see you again unless I'm going to make that happen. Being a bad communicator is a deal-breaker for me, honestly. Again, I'm sorry this happened to you. You deserve to be treated better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's such BS. 6 months later you'll get a random text like he was around the whole time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I used to do online dating and was ghosted SO many times! It was incredibly annoying. If you don't like me, just say it. Don't make me wonder where you went.

    ReplyDelete
  7. omg ghosting. I've experienced it... except from two guys at once. And okay, maybe I shouldn't have been talking to two guys at once BUT STILL. They both came back. And still like my Instagram photos and make me lol on a daily basis. It's such a coward move and I almost get it--I've come close to doing it myself, but then I remember that human beings have real human feelings and I grow a pair. Screw that guy. I can't wait until you find the best dude ever and you can laugh and reminisce about these awful dating memories.

    ReplyDelete