Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Tuesday Blah's

I wanted to start off today by saying thank you to each and every one of you for your amazing support of my Bell Let's Talk post last week. I know I didn't respond to all your comments but I was in a pretty emotional place. Your kind words and love were much appreciated and this is why I do this. This is why I blog. You're all gems.

Lately my mind has been in an odd place. Things pushed out so long ago are slowly creeping back and it's hard to get certain people and places off my mind. I'm really not sure why or how it started. But my head is a complete, jumbled mess right now.

What if's and almost's and gone too soon's. I've been questioning everything about my life and I don't know how to stop.

Half the time I want to just curl up on the couch with a blanket and disappear from the world. I don't want anyone around and I turn my phone off and refuse to go out and be around people. I want to curl into myself and never come out. Like a turtle in its shell. Only I don't have that luxury. I need to go out into the world and interact and be a functioning person and it's exhausting.


  1. Girl, your second paragraph. Yes. That's where I'm at so hard. Can't help, but can commiserate.
    I know sometimes turning in feels comforting and like the best solution, because it's the path of least resistance. And I know sometimes it takes an infinite amount of energy or control you don't feel like you have to do anything else. But for me, and this is just anecdotal, when I feel myself turning inward at the expense of everything out there, it's time to force myself — and yes, it is an act of FORCE most of the time — to turn the other way. It helps if you have someone you trust (I hope that you do) nearby who knows when not to take no for an answer and can just get you out and into a conversation and knows how to help you resist the urge to retreat. I hope you have someone you feel safe putting this request on. If I were closer, I'd do it myself. Hey, wanna come visit me in NJ? It's probably a little warmer here than where you are at least ;)

  2. I so get this feeling! It's crazy how hard just being a functioning adult can be when you feel like this! Hoping you feel better soon, ::HUGS::

  3. Usually when that happens and it's called KARMA.. just saying.

  4. I have been there before, questioning everything in my life. Not wanting to leave the confines of my own space. I hope that you feel more like yourself soon. Sending hugs!

  5. Ive been there and its nuts when that happens. Hang in there girlie :)

  6. I wish I'd found your blog last week. I too participated in the Bell Lets Talk campaign on Twitter. It's such an important movement. I've suffered with depression for most of my life, as well as incorrect diagnosis over and over again. I recently got a new diagnosis, one that is actually dead-on and I think is actually right and i'm too afraid to really talk about it because of the stereotypes surrounding it. I get enough flak for my Tourettes that I don't want more for yet another disorder that I cannot control.

    Your second paragraph ... that's exactly what I have been dealing with as well. I know I only just found your website and that I'm a total stranger, but if you ever want to talk, my inbox is open. I don't judge and I'll let you ramble. Besides, we already share a name ;)

  7. I have had moments where my emotions and thoughts get the best of me and all I want to do is be by myself so I can curl up in my bed and just cry. It is hard to get away from that frame of thinking. I am sending you lots of hugs. P.S. In reference to that anonymous comment above -- they will get their karma too, don't even bother with them.