Thursday, December 4, 2014

Seeking Arrangement

I watch a lot of Dr. Phil. Jay is shocked almost every time he comes over and he sees that it's on, but really, there shouldn't be any more shock involved, it is ALWAYS on. 

A few weeks ago there was an episode on Sugar Babies. Anna and I watched it and laughed and made jokes. Surely not that many people actually go on a website looking for a Sugar Daddy. A few days later, we were at Andrea's and told her about it and of course she immediately wants to watch the episode. Again, we're laughing and not taking it seriously. Then we decide to just take a little look at the website: Seeking Arrangements. We let our curiosity take the lead. 

Which led to the 3 of us thinking it was a great idea to craft a fake account just so we could see the type of people on it. Because surely our city doesn't have that many men on it. 

Andrea went to town creating a fake profile with my picture on it. I was a young 20-something nursing student looking to be taught the ways of the world. And other gross things she wrote that she thought were hilarious (they were). 

Within a day, we had received at least 5 to 6 messages. They ranged from average to downright creepy. What started out as a fun experiment turned in to me feeling really horribly. Half of these men were married with children. They wanted a thing on the side to spoil and pay rent for and buy cars for. What about their children? It just made me sad and depressed. 

I tried to delete the account that day, but it said I had to wait ten days from creation of the account. Ten more days of these messages coming to my inbox. Ten more days of feeling shitty about myself for even signing up. I made Andrea go look at some of the profiles and she agreed she felt icky. Anna on the other hand trolled a few of them and I'm not going to lie it was pretty funny. Two kinds of people. 

Honestly, I'm not judging any of the women on here. They just want some extra cash and maybe a little help to pay for grad school. What I am judging is the sheer volume of married men willing to throw their money away on them. 

Thankfully, I never recognized any of the "daddies", because I truly don't know what I would do if someone I knew came across my screen.

I'm all for online dating. But primping myself and exchanging favors for 45+ year old men who want me to call them daddy is just not my cup of tea. Ick.

I've learned my lesson: no more fake online dating profiles. 

Don't forget to check back tomorrow. It's a dating and relationship Q&A with some of my favorite bloggers!


  1. Ugh. ick. no. :( Be my sugar mama!

  2. ah man i wanted to hear about some of the awkward messages you got!

  3. One of those girls was murdered did you hear about that?? Such a sketchy site.

  4. Ick, so creepy. Although, I would want to see the messages you got! How do these guys have all this disposable money? I mean, I don't keep track of every dime John makes, but I know basically what each paycheck is going to be and I know how much is in the account, and we budget (and vice versa with my checks.) Do these wives just not look at their financial situation, ever? Rent, school, jewelry - not cheap things!

  5. Yeah I don't understand the whole wanting to spoil someone else thing when you have kids who would certainly prefer you put that money in, I dunno, a college fund or something? Or hell, buy your CHILDREN or your SPOUSE a nice car if that's what you wanna do. Oh and if you think that's bad and you want to really bum yourself out again, look up Ashley Madison. ICK.

  6. Oh my gosh that is so gross and creepy! I would be mortified if someone I knew was on there ha ha. Yikes.

  7. Gross. If you're not married, do whatever you want. But like you said... married with kids: spend your money on THEM!

  8. I feel like I have to comment on this because I WAS a member on that site; a sugar baby on that site, in fact.

    I was on there for a year and I met some really amazing people before finding that 'one' that was right for me. Are married men on there? Well, of course. There are married men looking for dates and 'girlfriends' everywhere. They're just painted in a bad light because they're being honest about what they want. Their girlfriends would probably receive the same treatment - no matter what site or where they found them.

    Have I gotten creepy messages? Well, yes, but again, it is nothing different from online dating. Have I been paid to perform 'favours' for "45+ year old men"? No. Never. Some men just want company. I have gone to dinner, drinks and coffee and just talked with someone for hours with no expectations. I have done this several times and sex was never mentioned. Were they 45+? No. They were in my age bracket of being 'okay' for me.

    I don't really know where I'm going with this comment anymore, ha. I just wanted to say that the site isn't as "sinister" as a lot of people make it out to be. If you use it properly and with thorough screening, then it is fine. It is more than fine. If a person can live with themselves at the end of the day, then there is nothing wrong with it.