While you're reading this post, Jay and I will be in Fargo for a mini getaway. Yes. You read that right. We go to Fargo for vacation....
I have asked some of my favorite bloggers to round the week off by answering a few questions. They range from serious to snarky and it's what makes me love each and every one of them in different ways. Kailyn included gifs and pictures and Trace included links. So make sure you watch for those!
Without further ado I bring you the Relationship Week Q&A!
1. What do you do to keep your relationship fun?
Jessi: Competition. Anything and everything that can be made into a game with multiple sub-rules should be your thing. It makes anything and everything an opportunity to create fun.
Kailyn: We really just joke around with each other. He likes to torture me at night and not let me sleep, until he's tired. SUCH a jerk ;)
Kenzie: John and I are always bringing home little surprises for each even if it is something small like a chocolate bar. We also love to go on adventures and explore new things/places – it is a great way for us to connect and get in some exercise! We are also known for Nerf wars, being extremely obnoxious, and watching shows together.
Tracey: It is important to keep a relationship fun because it can easily get stale if you never do anything. For me, after getting married my husband and I settled into a routine and got a little too comfortable. We now make an effort to go out on dates once a week or else we will just sit at home and watch Netflix in sweats all the time. Even if the date night is just grabbing a Starbucks and walking around Target, getting out of the house is key. Never forget to “date each other,” no matter what stage in a relationship you are at. This is an easy way to keep your relationship fun!
Alyssa: The fact that it's completely non-existent keeps me on my toes and really makes every day a thrill-ride! (melissa - lol this is gonna be good.)
2. What is your favorite date idea?
J: Love the picnic in the park / picnic on the beach date, it takes a lot of pre-planning and thought to pull it off, and all you need is each other. Also a huge fan of going on a "date" to Costco for samples on the weekend.
Ka: I'm pretty simple and I love a good dinner and a movie. We're big movie goers so it's really our go to. But I do like the occasional outing somewhere new.
Ke: I’m going with a classic because I absolutely love going to dinner and then the catching a movie (I am a huge sucker for movie theater popcorn)!
A: I love exploring different interests when I'm getting to know a person, but there's always something to be said for great, quiet conversation. For first dates I love trying a new restaurant for dinner, but I'd be thrilled to go hiking, for a run, grab a coffee, or see a game. I'm a perpetual early-stage dater (Taylor Swift and I have that in common) so the get-to-know-you dates are my bread and butter.
3. What's your biggest relationship pet peeve?
J: I am not a huge fan of the way I let my workouts slip when I'm dating. It would be solid if my guy wanted to be my swole-mate as well as my soul mate.
Ka: Someone who is constantly on their phone when it's just the 2 of you. I stare until he looks at me. OH and also WET TOWEL ON A DRY BED.
Ke: Eating the last of something and not replacing it – food rules the roost around here and I am known to get hangry.
A: It'd make me sound really picky and "oh that's why she's single" if I said I have too many to choose just one #1, right? Okay, so I guess I get the most annoyed by clingy people. I'm a really independent person and I value my alone time very much. I need the person I'm with to understand that I need a little bit of physical and virtual space, but that doesn't mean I'm not crazy about you. When you pout about me asking for the night off from our texting marathon, that's a big problem. Oh and also excessive PDA, please make it stop. There are people eating dinner 2 feet away from us.
4. What does your significant other do that still gives you butterflies?
J: When he tells me how smart I am or genuinely drops his jaw when he sees me. The fact that we are long distance also helps the first sight at the airport, but I'll be honest that even a text makes my heart skip a beat.
Ka: It will always be a kiss on the forehead. Simple yet showing pure adoration.
Ke: I absolutely melt when John kisses my neck or randomly grabs my hand to hold. Some other things include surprising me with food, slamming on the breaks and jumping out of the car to pick me a bouquet of wild flowers, and when he tells me I am beautiful even when I am feeling frumpy.
T: He still buys me flowers and it is always a surprise. He will send them to my office or there will be some waiting for me when I get home from work. Knowing he is thinking of me and still trying to surprise me always gives me butterflies.
A: Never knowing when he's going to start existing in a physical space is so exhilarating! It gives me the flutters on the daily.
5. What's your weirdest single girl behaviour?
J: Has to be eating the same thing almost every day of the week. I know that if/when I live with my guy full time that won't fly and I'll need to get a little more creative with my culinary skills.
Ka: I mean, it's not weird but I still flirt in hopes of a free drink. HOLLA!
Ke: I dance and sing all throughout the house when I am cleaning and will really bust a move when I get into it.
A: It's taken me a really long time to come up with an answer, which is probably indicative that I have far too many, and I don't realize they're weird, hence why I'm single. But last night I took about 30 minutes of video of my yoga and handstand practice and then watched it over again, and that's not the first time that's happened. This week. So probably something like that.
6. What's the first thing you let go when you get comfortable with someone?
J: When I get comfortable the first thing to go is my filter. I am fully transparent and more often embarrass myself than anything. Thing #2? Wearing pants.
Ka: Oh god, it's been so long since I've had to worry about that. I mean I didn't start farting in front of him until we moved in, now I just let it go, let it goooooooo.
Ke: I quit shaving my legs and putting on makeup as much (sorry John)!
T: I will let them see me “undone,” meaning without makeup and in my sweats. When I feel comfortable enough to let a guy in this state, I know he is a keeper.
A: I try to be pretty real right from the get-go, but I definitely burp and swear a little bit more after we hurdle over date number two or so. I'm like a 15-year-old boy.
7. Number one deal-breaker
J: Disrespectful men have no place in my life.
Ka: Smoker. I can't STAND cigs.
Ke: Any form of abuse whether it be mental, emotional, or physical.
T: Laziness. I am a go-getter. I am not the kind of person that is happy not pushing myself to do more. I need a partner that will motivate me and support me to better myself and will want to do the same.
A: A person who is unkind is a person I can't be with. A person who speaks hatefully, shows intolerance, prejudice, racism, is rude to others, believes others or animals to be beneath him, or who is incapable of having compassion or sympathy is a complete and total deal-breaker.
8. Biggest lesson you ever learned from a relationship
J: Never settle. Take the uncomfortable leap of breaking up with someone even if it hurts. You're only making things worse (and wasting your own time) if you truly don't see forever.
Ka: Don't be afraid to give someone a second chance. I've only had 2 relationships that have made it past the 6 month mark. One was my high school boyfriend and the second is my current boyfriend, Joey, of 7 years. Joey and I dated for like 2 months, but the timing was off for him, heartbreaking for me cos I fell for him, hard. 7 months later, we gave it another shot and here we are!
Ke: That it is never okay for a guy to destroy your confidence and beat you down literally and figuratively.
A: In the words of Maya Angelou: "When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." It took me a very, very, very long time to learn this and it cost me many tears and a million cracks on my heart along the way. But I realized this year that I finally had REALLY learned it, and it felt so good to break my pattern.
9. Worst breakup
J: Every breakup feels like the "Worst breakup" (EVER!) but the one that hurt the worst was knowing that I hurt someone else's feelings through my actions and rather than honesty, I crashed his world more than I could ever see myself capable of doing. I can't take back what happened and just wish I was wise enough at the time to follow my "biggest lesson learned" example and end it when I realized it wasn't what I needed.
Ka: Let's see here...I had one boyfriend sophomore year tell me to kick rocks cos I didn't have enough time for him with sports and all. But the worst would have to be my junior/senior year boyfriend (mentioned above). He cheated on me at a party after, of course, lying to me about his parents not letting him out. One of my friends was at the party and asked me where I was the following . Long story short, he cheated on me while one of my "good" friends and her boyfriend encouraged him to go into the room with the biggest slut of his school. Then to top it off, the lesson at softball was about stealing bases and "if you're not cheating, you're not trying."
Ke: I have had some pretty awful breakups ranging from mutual to scary to downright creepy, and I think the worst out of them is the creepy. My sophomore year of high school I started dating a guy who I had known for a couple years through mutual friends. All was fine and dandy until he became super obsessive and creepy, as in he stole a pair of my underwear to hang on the rearview mirror of his car and serenaded me at a NJROTC dance. Needless to say I broke up with him right quick, but for the next month or so afterward when I would come home he would be waiting for me at my parent’s house just hanging out with my parents waiting for me. If I didn’t come home right away he would leave notes with them to give to me. My parents, being kind, let him until I had finally had enough.
T: My worst break up was with the guy I thought I was going to be with forever. We had been trying to keep a relationship going that had died a long time ago. I have to say it was one of the hardest experiences of my life and one I never thought I would get over. It turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned so much about myself, became a stronger person and met my husband. I learned so much from that time that I decided to blog about it and to date, it is one of my most popular blog posts.
A: My first real, crazy-in-love, we're going to get married someday relationship ended after two and a half years... over the phone. (This was actually a much bigger deal in 2007 than it feels like now.) The day before I started college. After I'd spent a week helping him move into his college apartment, cleaning it top to bottom, and cooking for him and his roommate. Don't worry, two months later my life was amazing and I wrote him a letter on his birthday thanking him for ending our relationship. Because I'm just classy like that.
10. Most wtf moment in a relationship you've experienced
J: All of the little tinder dating and college dating had me beyond confused about dating. Mostly the thought that there weren't any normal guys out there and that I'd have to be happy living as a single cat lady who listened to Alanis Morrisette. That was almost reality once in my life. Maybe it still is, and really I wouldn't be too upset about it.
Ka: We're about to get a little TMI right now. Sorry not sorry. But one time when Joe and I were doing he deed, he whispered barbecue sauce in my hear. WTF.
Ke: When someone I did not know came up to me at school and told me that my boyfriend at the time was cheating on me. Yikes.
T: Honestly, just read any of my Adventures in Dating posts.
A: That whole time I dated a(n alcoholic) magician, probably. Or maybe it was the time when a guy I had been dating for a few weeks told me he was going to "train" me to be his perfect woman. Or the guy who told his mom, sister, and best girlfriend all about me before our third date. I've had a lot of WTF-ery in my dating years — that's only the PG-rated stuff.
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There you have it. They answered your questions and some of mine. Thanks for everyone who kept up with me this week I loved Volume 3 and I can definitely see a Volume 4 in the future. Have a fantastic weekend everyone!