Monday, June 30, 2014

Happy Birthday Canada + My Weekend in St. Laurent

Tomorrow Today is Canada Day. I'm writing this on Monday night so I'm getting confused. Bear with me please. Because it landed on a Tuesday, my boss gave us the option to have a long weekend instead and get today yesterday off. Who wouldn't want a long weekend? Also, working Canada Day means I get stat pay so all around I'm one happy camper. 


However, my long weekend was not the best. Why you may ask? Because Mother Nature is a cruel witch. That is why. We had the storm of the decade and 2 dozen towns/cities in Manitoba had to declare a state of emergency due to the amount of rain causing flooding. 

But like any true 'pegger, I sucked it up and went out to the lake BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU DO!
It was Jon's birthday so we all headed out to his cottage and partied Chez Stanners. 


And by partied I mean drank and played board games because the torrential downpour didn't allot much outside time. It was, however, the most intense game of Pictionary that I've ever played and people were going insane. People including me. As in I almost lost my voice. So much screaming. I feel like it was largely due to how drunk everyone was getting. 

Eventually, the weather let up just enough in the evening for us to go out and enjoy it. Man, the lake is just beautiful. I wish I could live on one. 









I stole this group photo from Jon's Facebook. So thanks for that Jon. Also, I have no idea what I was looking at. So that's weird. 


Other than that, the only other decent thing that happened this weekend was when Jamie made banana bread and we ate it right out of the oven. Oh and also when Jay took me for breakfast. So that was nice too. 

How was your weekend? What are the rest of my Canadian friends doing to celebrate?

Friday, June 27, 2014

The Fault In Our Stars Killed Me

It appears that my emotional state as of late has not been the most stable. The main reason that I know this is because I went to see the Fault In Our Stars with Anna last night and completely lost my ish. I'm not talking one or two glistening tears. I'm talking full on mental breakdown. It was as if I personally knew the characters and was deeply affected by what transpired. Anna could do nothing but laugh at me as I basically inhaled my own snot and cried huge fat fricken tears for almost 20 minutes straight. My face was so swollen after that she couldn't believe I could even see. That's how tiny my eye slits were. It looks like I was having an intense allergic reaction. 

And because she's the best friend/roommate ever, she convinced me to take a picture so I could send it to Andrea who is currently still in Europe. And because I took that picture, I decided to share it. 

Also, this was a solid 15 minutes after I finished wailing like a banshee so the swelling has gone down some. Please note the swelling under my eyes, beside my nose and my cheeks. I cried ALL of my eye makeup off. All of it. I had to take eye drops to get rid of the red in my eyes so the entire mall didn't think I was high out of my face. 


The moral of the story here, is that my emotions are running rampant and I have a feeling I know why but I never thought it would manifest itself in quite this way. Someone please get me a drink. Stat. 

It should also be noted that I READ THE BOOK. I knew what was going to happen. I've known it for months. I SHOULD NOT HAVE REACTED LIKE THIS!

I'm just gonna leave you all with this song, which is from The Fault In Our Stars soundtrack but isn't sad. So there's that at least. Silver lining. Have a great weekend!


Thursday, June 26, 2014

Stone Upon Stone

The thing about walls is that they never just appear. They are built. Brick by brick, row by row. Someone puts them there for a reason. All walls serve a purpose; either it's to keep things in or keep things out.

If you spent two weeks building a wall with your bare hands, lifting each heavy brick, the sun beating down on you, perspiration dripping down your back, would you come back the next day and take it all down?

Doubtful. Literal blood, sweat and tears went into it. You spent time, energy, strength and resolution to make sure nothing could get past it. So why would you break it down? You're safe, guarded and a little bit proud of the solid bricks you've placed together so perfectly. It's comforting and strong and now you can't imagine what life was like before it. 

But this wall you built, it has no gate. It's high and it's impenetrable. Just like you wanted. Just like you needed it to be.

One day you look past your wall and on the other side is the most beautiful flower you've ever seen. Soft, colorful, full of life and like nothing you've ever seen before. You run outside, ready to bring that flower into your home and care for it and watch it grow. You hit the wall and are momentarily stunned. You almost forgot about the wall. You took the time to look past it and for a moment it didn't exist. Until you ran into it head on. And then you remembered why it was there. For every beautiful, rare and unique flower, there are 100 weeds ready to entangle you and make the world ugly. 

You go back inside and watch the flower from afar, until one day, you decide that you need the flower more than you need the wall. Your fear of the weeds is not as great as your fear of never experiencing the joy of having that flower.

So you start the slow process of taking down your wall. Brick by brick, row by row.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Paws In Motion & Other Life Things

Oh hello there! I've been gone for what seems like ages. I didn't completely hate it, but I also really missed this little space of mine. Thank you all for being so kind and messaging me and asking me to get off my butt and start blogging again. That was nice. At least I know I'm missed online. Unlike in real life where my best friend jets off to Europe for a month with her boyfriend, leaving me behind. NO BIG DEAL OR ANYTHING. NOT JEALOUS AT ALL. 

Oh wow sorry Andrea. I don't mean most of that. I am genuinely happy that you're on this once in a lifetime experience, but I mean... it would be nice if you could have included me in this plan since I thought I was like important to you. And you know how you left me alone that one time for 3 months to go to Australia and you came back and I was crazy? I'm just saying, don't be surprised if you come back and I've gone Britney à la 2007 in your absence. 

I'm being dramatic. I just really miss you. And just like that I've made your whole trip about me...

I'M THE WORST. Maybe I should have just stayed off this blog a little longer cause I clearly need to reevaluate my mental state. Woof.

Oh what's that? Is that a dog I hear? Indeed. I think it's 4 actually. World, meet my friends' beautiful pups. We did the Paws In Motion walk on Sunday to raise money for the Winnipeg Humane Society and made the best shirts in the history of the world. Our team name was "Muttbloods". We had the four HP houses but we renamed them. Ravenpaw, Sniffendor, Slobberin, and Huffleruff. And the dogs all had matching bandannas. Aren't we the best? And then, as luck would have it, one of us fell into the road just like Harry, and the Knight Bus showed up! 












Okay. That's really all. I need to go and build a bookcase now since Jay really did a number on the first one and I don't trust him to build the second one. Boys apparently can't all build things. I mean, I really do appreciate the effort. It's just maybe not his best skill. 

Oh but before I go, I want you all to meet Sir Reginald, Reggie, Reg. The light of my life. That is when he's not huffing, and puffing, and popping, and quilling. He really is kind of an asshole but at least he's cute. Anyway, I got him while I was on hiatus. He's a fat little bugger. He needs to go on a diet. But we're working on it. 


Friday, June 6, 2014

Cranky Pants

I'm one cranky bitch this morning. The red mist surprised me this morning and to say I'm pissed is an understatement. It's more than a week early and I had a waxing appointment on Monday that I was suffering to make it to. Like, almost every day for the last week I almost gave in to the itching but I was like "nope you get that shit waxed". So I finally made it to the point where I had accepted the hair and was just waiting for Monday. And then KABLAM. Mother nature was like nah bitch, nah. 

At least this makes sense as to why I was so fricken emotional all week. Andrea graduated University and I was live-streaming her convocation from my desk and CRYING when she accepted her degree. WHAT IS MY LIFE!?



It also explains why I've been dying for ice-cream all week and sleeping more than usual. 


Lastly, I feel like a bad blogger. Not because I didn't post, but because I didn't really read anyone else's. And the ones that I did read this week, I didn't comment on. The sense of guilt almost overwhelmed me this morning when I realized it was Friday and I hadn't done my regular blog creep all week. 

One more announcement. I will be setting my blog to private for the next few weeks. I think you all know what that means so please keep your fingers cross, cause this could be a big move!

Happy Friday my loves and enjoy your weekend :)


Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Let's Get Weird!

Let's play a game shall we? It's called "what weird shit brought people to my blog". Featuring my stats. Now I love checking my search terms. LOVE IT. Because the weirdest shit brings people to my blog. I have no idea how, but it does. Like that one time "Awkward Taco Gif" brought someone here. Now, I have talked about my love for tacos, and about how awkward I am, and I use a lot of gifs. So I assume that's why. But who really knows. So sit back and revel in all the weird glory that is "Melissa's Stats".
"Marky Mark" - I decided to start slightly normal. You see, in the history of my blog, this search term has brought a butt load of people here. All because I wrote an ode to the sexpot that is Mark Wahlberg in the 90s

"I'm not normal" - okay this one hurts guys. 

"Boyfriend, that's a funny way to say Netflix" - Well this is self explanatory. My love for Netflix will never be trumped. But I assume it had something to do with my hits or misses post. 

"Hi I'm socially awkward" - ME TOO DUDE. So whoever you are, although I'm unsure why you'd introduce yourself to Google like that, you're my people

Any variation of "Porn", "Melissa Naked", "Taboo naked porn" - I'm really sorry bro, since I  know you totally only logged onto the internet to satisfy a very particular need.  All because I informed the world that girls watch porn too...

"Hope you don't disappoint me" - Okay now I'm really unsure why anyone would ask Google this. Google never disappoints. And to be honest, I have no idea what my blog has to do with this in the slightest. 

"Game template for therapy lying" - Well lying is maybe the last thing I would suggest in therapy. I go to therapy. Lying just defeats the whole purpose. I really hope you DIDN'T find what you were looking for. 

"I realized I was an Adult when..." - If you're trying to figure out if you're an adult, chances are you are not. Since you're asking the internet. So I apologize for that. But how did you end up here? Because of this.

"Chloe Grace Moretz with an Idiot Face" - YOU TAKE THAT BACK. 


Thanks for playing along. I hope you're just as mystified as I am as to how my blog shows up for these search terms. The internet is a weird place.

Have a great Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Shocker, I'm Late Again

The day I blog on time will be a cold day in Hell I'm sure. Shocker of the year, I missed yesterday. I was unfortunately bed/couch ridden due to a severe migraine and slept for approximately 20 hours. So you're getting a glimpse of my weekend late. 

I had one of the most eventful weekends in recent memory. I was a busy bee every day! First, we kicked off Friday with a little frozen Mike's. Probably the best drink ever. Also, I'm pretty sure I was supposed to pour it into another glass, but I'm lazy so straw...


I then got to spend some quality time with my baby! Look how cute she is. I just want pinch her cheeks for all of eternity. Also, she's 1.5 years old and that's not allowed. STOP GROWING UP!


Saturday I spent at work. I know I know but I swear it wasn't a bad thing! There's an event every year called Doors Open Winnipeg and my work was offering a free Mural Tour. We had a record number of participants and I dragged my dad along for a little exercise and bonding time. After that, we grabbed lunch together at Whistle Pig which is maybe the best drive-in in the history of drive-ins. I got the greasiest most delicious burger. Hey, I had walked for 2 hours in the scorching heat, it was totally justified. 

Saturday night I went to Mongo's for Lynn's army send off. I'm going to miss that nugget. Good luck with basic training and I will see your pretty little face in August!

Sunday was exhausting but amazing. I went to the Forks for Pride Winnipeg 2014. Take Me To The Pilot was playing the main stage and I got VIP seating. Aka beside the stage. Mostly because I'm a baby and it was really hot and I wanted to sit in the shade. My city is lively and beautiful and I love it. 










Sunday night was the highlight of the weekend. For Jenn's wedding, they decided to do a quiz night instead of your typical social. It was one of the most unique things I've been to! Obviously I love Trivia because I get to show people how smart I am. Too bad my family sat at another table and kicked our butt. Oh well! It was a great turnout and we all had so much fun!









I'm still exhausted from this weekend. Even though I did manage to squeeze in a lot of couch time and watch a couple of movies. I also finished season 1 of Suits and I'm so obsessed. SO OBSESSED! Almost makes me want to be a lawyer. But then I remember they work 80 hours a week or more and I'm like nah. Then I'd have no time for Netflix. 

How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun or exciting?