Wednesday, February 12, 2014

The Highs & Lows of Being Engaged


Day 3 focuses on something I have zero experience with. I still felt like it should be included because there's more to life than mindless dating. So today I welcome a new friend of mine in Blogland to talk about being engaged! Something I'm not even close to being ready for. Probably also because I have no boyfriend. But that's besides the point. Take it away Trace!



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Hi everyone! I'm Tracey and I'm excited to be taking over Melissa's blog today. I blog over at Just a Trace. You should totally stop by. It will be fun I promise. I always love new friends. Anyways, enough about me, more about Melissa. She had this amazing idea to host a Relationship Week on her blog and asked me to share my wisdom on being engaged.

I got engaged on April 13, 2013 in New York City. Central Park specifically. Even more specifically, on a rowboat. It was a dream come true. I spent the next few days after the engagement on cloud nine. I was literally unable to stop staring at my hand and my new diamond sparkler.


Most girls spend their whole lives waiting for their proposal. They build it up to be this other-worldly experience that will be "the best day of their life." I was guilty of this, too. Don't get me wrong, getting engaged is amazing, but I think I spent so many years wishing for it to happen and when it did I realized after it happens, life carries on and sometimes being engaged is more of a pain in the ass than a blessing.

With all that being said, I want to share my highs and lows of being engaged.

LOWS:

1. Your engagement ring does not come with an instruction manual. After you get engaged, you have no idea what to do next. Do you call every single person you know and tell them? Who do you tell in person? When do you post it on Facebook? When do you pick your bridesmaids? How soon do you need to book your venue? What month has the least chance of rain so you can get married outside?
This constant stream of unanswered questions is now your life. You will lie awake wondering the answers to these and many more questions.

2. You can't make everyone happy. Whether it's your wedding colours, number of bridesmaids, you venue, the number of people you are inviting, someone will also disagree. You know what? That is OK. The main thing you need to remember is that at the end of the day, it is YOUR day. You need to make you do what is right for you and your future husband because other people will understand and if they don't they are not worth your time.

3. You won't get all the reactions you want. Remember how nice and supportive you were when your friend got engaged? Perhaps she won't reciprocate. Maybe she gets jealous because your ring is bigger than hers or you have more money to spend on your wedding. Maybe some of your single friends become distant or try to downplay your big day. This reality is these things could happen. It's important not to let them get you. Not everyone is going to react the way you want or in the way that you would.

4. The word fiancé. For some reason, I feel so pretentious saying this word. Like I'm part of some exclusive club, which I guess is somewhat true. Still, the word just irks me!

HIGHS:

1. Picking your wedding dress. Picking my wedding dress was honestly one of the most special moments of my life. It's true that when you find "the one" you know, and man, wedding dresses make your body look GOOD.



2. Having your most favourite people in the entire world by your side. You get to pick who you want to stand up with you on your wedding day. Likely, these people are super awesome and therefore,  your wedding day, bachelorette, bridal shower and engagement party are also awesome events. Your wedding really solidifies who is there for you and who you can't count on.

3. Planning the honeymoon. You are going to be on a super high right after your wedding, why not amplify that by taking an amazing vacation? Most places offer perks for newlyweds so make sure to take advantage of those. Use some of the money you get from your wedding to do a little extra on your trip or buy yourself something nice.

4. The word husband. The word husband makes me giddy. I think it's so cool (and makes me feel grown up) to say husband. It's the start of a new family and an exciting future.

5. Planning the ultimate party. Your wedding will likely be the biggest, most time consuming and costly party you ever throw. So by default, it will also be the best party ever. You are the guest of honour, you've chosen all the details including the decor, food, drinks and cake! How could this not be the best party ever? Enjoy it. Savour it. Love every moment. Plus, you get really nice, professional pictures to remember the day after.

6.  Envisioning your future together. The world is your oyster. You are starting a whole new chapter of your life with your favourite person. Don't limit yourself to thinking your engagement is the best day of your life because there are so many "best days" to come with your new husband.

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For all you ladies out there who are engaged, close to, or have a great engagement story... let's hear all about it! See you tomorrow for Day 4. Which is downright absurd and probably a little offensive but mostly hilarious so tune in!

9 comments

  1. i really don't get the "friends" who suddenly turn into wankers when you announce your engagement. thank god that never happened to me but if one of my friends did that? ninja kick in the vag, that's what would happen. bye, i don't need jealous, petty bitches in my group.

    is tomorrow my story?

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

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    1. Amen Kathy, amen. Thankfully I haven't had to do lay down any swift ninja kicks, but I've heard of a few friends who have come close!

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  2. Since I keep getting the "why aren't you engaged yet?" question, some of my engaged friends told me one of the worst things about being engaged is getting the "when is the wedding?" question. I also don't like how so many people out there judge the person's ring. Seriously, this is one of the happiest days of a girls life and you're judging her ring? Not cool.

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  3. oh weddings. as pretty as they are, they just seem like so.much.work. haha. maybe i am just lazy

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  4. We were engaged for almost two years. I had a lot of high expectations during our engagement ... and maybe it's just because I was the first one out of my friends and my generation of my family who was getting married, but it didn't live up to the excitement that you see on TV. At the end of the day, what's most important during the whole engagement and wedding planning process is to focus on you and your husband!!! :) xo

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  5. A lot of women (and men) think I'm strange because I do not want an engagement ring. I'd rather that my partner and I share an experience, like a week somewhere together prior to all the craziness of wedding planning or lets try racing cars in Vegas. Something memorable rather than having him shell out lots of mula on a stone that sits in a piece of metal. (I know I'm "un-traditional" when it comes to weddings and all the symbolism and ceremonies). But if you're one of my buds and that's what you want, I would be wholly supportive of you and help you plan (since I do work part time for a wedding planner - http://eventsbyemma.com/)

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  6. I am so excited for the engagement period someday - planning the biggest party ever while you're taking huge new steps in your relationship, awesome. Plus my mom has great taste and wants to take the wheel on planning :)

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  7. Ummmmm I absolutely agree fiance is the weirdest thing ever to say....I actually find myself saying "my significant other" that sounds weird too right? Great post I was definitely reading it and nodding along the whole time :-)

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  8. LOVEEEE this!! Great to hear both sides!

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