Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Red Flags & Breakups



Break-ups are as natural to life as a lion taking down a gazelle and probably twice as painful. Unfortunately, my girl Jessi is learning that right now. But she's here to discuss breakups and red flags. She explains it better than I do, but really girls, don't settle for someone who is pretty much waving a gigantic red flag over their head. It won't end well. Anyway, let's just let Jessi take this one.


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Hi! I'm Jessi from JumpingJE

Let's cut the awkward and get the record straight that I'm not a relationship expert. I've dated handsome assholes and awkward nice-guys. I've attracted both men and women, single or otherwise. I've played games and broken hearts. I've loved to the depth of my heart and had it rejected. I am currently single and ready to mingle figure my own shit out before I jump back into the dating world.


My most recent "relationship" was of the broken-heart variety. That's in air quotes because the cuts are still fresh and it was one of those breakups that you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. It was also one of those life-changing moments that has propelled me into the greatest and clearest mental state I've experienced in my adult life. 

To help me get over the sadness anyone would feel from any breakup - I turned to family, friends and bloggers. Each came with a different side and different logic, but all signs pointed to "ditch the dingo", "what's his face doesn't deserve you" and "just be single for a while".

The Laurel Gazette made me laugh with her take on her sister's breakup and Nadine from Back East Blonde had some solid tips that every girl should be aware of, either for herself or her bestie. Kensie asked for my phone # over snapchat and I escaped for a girl's weekend with my dearest friend in Seattle. 

The very best piece of advice however came from Mom (doesn't it always?!).

She insisted that I make a list of all the bad, mean and scary things that I'm not looking for and won't ever put up with again. Sure it's great to know what you want in a partner, but you're even better to know when to run like hell and block a crazy from entering your amazing world. 

So, I took mom's advice and I'm ready to share some of my Massive Red Flags. Deal-breakers, Get-out-of-my-facer's, stop-wasting-my-timer's. It's been incredibly eye-opening to see all that I've put up with from lovers, roommates and friends over the years. Enjoy!

 photo MassiveRedFlags.png

Try making your own and let me know what you come up with!

Thanks Melissa for inviting me to stay and play!

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Now it's your turn. What are your dating red flags?



12 comments

  1. my #1 red flag: if he treats his mom/sister/siblings/family members like shit, he'll treat you like shit too.

    2) watch for how he behaves towards family members when he gets upset/angry. guaranteed, that's how he'll treat you too.

    3) if he's a spender/has financial troubles. his troubles will eventually be your troubles. ain't nobody got time fo' dat

    4) if he's selfish, he'll always be selfish

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda

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    1. Those are great warning signs, especially #3!!

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  2. Great tips, and I've found a new blog to follow!

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    1. Hi Tracey, Following you now, too! :)

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  3. I could deal with the bad taste in music but abusing drugs and alcohol? Oh hell no.

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    1. Gross right? Thank goodness that was a short term roommate and NOT someone dated. Yuck.

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  4. If they're rude to waiters/servers/help, I feel like that says a lot about them. On the flip side, being good with kids is the opposite of a red flag for me.

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    1. Good with kids is the ultimate heart melter for sure!

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  5. but especially the bad taste in music! the worst.

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  6. Guys that go out too much. Sorry dude... we're not 21 anymore... grow up and find a life outside of the bar.

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    1. Many-a-guy have I given up on for this reason. Saturdays are for dinners in, movies and cuddling!

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