Monday, January 20, 2014

I've Officially Lost It

I'm as stuck in life as I am in Candy Crush. And yes, you read that right, I just compared my life to Candy Crush. I am aware how ridiculous this sounds but just hear me out. For those who play Candy Crush, the struggle of getting stuck on a level is a deep one. It literally becomes all you can think about and your one goal in life is to finally see that last jelly explode or stupid cherry drop. I'm there right now. I'm on level 350 and I just. can't. get it. This level has been a week. Sometimes, I get stuck for a month. And right now, my life is mirroring my gaming habits. 

Let's pretend that the cherry represents my dreams. I get closer and closer each time, but I never quite make it from here to there. I try hard, I use boosters, I do all I can in my power to move towards my goal. But I'm strategic, in the game and in life. So picking up and chasing my dreams without being financially sound or having no plan would be like handing my phone to someone else and letting them beat the level for me. I need the satisfaction of beating that level MY way. 

At the end of the day, when you have no moves left to make, sometimes all it takes is a little bit of a shakeup. Then everything begins to fall into place and I am getting pretty close to needing one. So I will keep going, I will keep strategizing (it is refusing to recognize strategizing as a real word but I swear it is), I will keep playing until I run out of moves. And then I'll let my life shake me up and point me anew. 

My therapist would probably tell me I've definitely lost it since I'm using CANDY CRUSH to explain my emotional state right now, but what does she know? She's leaving me. True story she's moving to another province. Maybe she's why I'm having an absolute meltdown? EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVES ME. But really, don't go. And if anyone has the name of another really good therapist please let me know, I clearly need one. 

And also, can you please tell me how to beat this stupid level?


  1. I've managed to avoid CC for the exact reason you're addicted. I just can't. Even reading about your trouble passing that level is giving me anxiety hahaha

  2. I cannot tell you how to beat this level because I gave up on candy crush at level 22 but I CAN tell you about a game called "Glass Tower" that has a similar layout (the whole map thing, having to wait for lives) and is equally as addicting

  3. is that what a level after 36 looks like? because that's as far as i got with CC and then it was too hard and then i said fuck this noise because ain't nobody got time for frustration.

    so how about you walk away from your current strategy and start anew. something different. so very different. if you go along the same path but change only certain things, and it's not working, maybe scrap that whole thing and start fresh?

    Vodka and Soda

  4. Dying. DYYYYYYING. I played that stupid game for like 3 days and hated myself. So I quit. Because me and video games are not friends. Ever.

  5. I don't have Facebook so I was playing Candy Crush on my phone. Every time I finished 10 levels (maybe it was 20?) it would tell me to pay a dollar to keep playing. I'm not a sucker!

    When I get stuck with a game (life, whatever) I walk away for a bit. Come back with a fresh mind. It's all good!

  6. I've been stuck on 135 since SEPTEMBER. I've even tried buying things. Help.

  7. i mean, i refuse to play, because then i would have to stop giving brad shit for the amount of time he wastes on the game, but i can definitely see how they are good analogies! good luck getting unstuck with both

  8. I can't get past 47. And for the 20-ish levels, I youtubed how to beat the level. If that's a representation of my life, I should get a cheat book or something! xo