Friday, January 31, 2014

Drama Queen

So maybe I was being a little dramatic yesterday, maybe I wasn't. Who can really judge? But in all honesty, being trapped inside your own mind is physically and emotionally exhausting. Thank god for my therapy session today. Home girl is probably going to get an earful. I am in slightly better spirits today. I have a feeling it's because it's Friday and I have a breakfast meeting at work so that means yum eggs and I get to leave the office. I also made the decision to hit the gym first thing tomorrow morning to get rid of these bingo wings and get fit and have fun (with Hal Johnson and JoAnne McLeod!)

Did I really just throw in a Body Break reference? I did. I think my Canadian readers will be the only ones to understand it.And with that, let's just jump right into The Pit & The Peak with Allie

Pits

- I froze my laundry again. Can't make this stuff up people. I need a better laundry system. 

- I got wine drunk alone on Wednesday night and was seriously hungover on Thursday. In all fairness, I didn't think I was going to be alone for it. I'm not an alcoholic. 

- I didn't sign up for MBlog 2014 and now I won't get to see Jenny Lawson speak and I'm so so mad at myself because her book is the funniest thing I've ever read. 

- American Horror Story: Coven ended this week. I have nothing left to live for. 


- Criminal Minds was a repeat. That is garbage. Bring me new episodes so I can fantasize about my life with Dr. Spencer Reid! 

- Brownies was a nightmare this week. I did not sign up to deal with crazy children. Literally crazy, not just ADHD crazy. 

Peaks

+ Bell Let's Talk Day was a huge success and I want to thank everyone who shared my post. EThe outpouring of support was mind-blowing and really got the dialogue going. Mental illness is no joke. We're now one step closer to a more open and understanding world (in Canada at least)!

+ Tomorrow my baby cousin Holly turns 18 so we're doing a good ol Transcona pub crawl to celebrate. I adore my family and how stereotypical we can be. 

+ I finished the book "Measure of Madness" by Dr. Cheryl Paradis and it was amazing. She's a forensic psychologist and talks about some of her more memorable cases. 

+ I also started reading a book on female serial killers and it's fascinating. Hi, yes, my weirdest guilty pleasure. 

+ Andrea referred to me as the Liam Neeson of the internet and it was possibly the best comment I've ever received in my entire life. If you are on the internet...


+ I made it through 27 tubes on Flappy Bird. 

+ My soccer team went out for drinks after a game finally and it was pure magic. 

+ Super Bowl Sunday is coming up and I cannot waiiiiit! Oh, and because of this, 40% off all ad spots with the code broncos because Seattle can eat a dick. 

That's all she wrote today. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. Don't forget that Sunday is also Lung Leavin' Day and Fal is hosting a "Share Your Fears" link up in honor of Heather! I'm going to leave you with the song that has been in my head ALL WEEK. Enjoy!


Dark Horse (feat. Juicy J) by Katy Perry on Grooveshark


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Thursday, January 30, 2014

I've been staring at the blinking cursor for a good 2 hours. I know what I want to say. I just don't know how to say it. And that's the most frustrating part of all. My brain is going about a mile a minute and I have a bajillion feelings racing through me right now, yet I can't put any of it into words. 

Sad, angry, doubtful, neglected, pissy, elated, hopeful, dark. How can I possibly jump from one to the other, minute to minute? Fuck you brain. Just a big fuck you today. 





Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Hump De Bump

... I'm genuinely concerned that one of the girls in my Brownies group is showing sociopathic tendencies and I'm at a loss of what to do about it. 



... An 8 year old at Brownies yesterday proclaimed "This game is boring" to which I responded "YOU'RE BORING". Seriously... what is wrong with me?

... I've dipped into my personal recycling bin and as much as I'd prefer not to go down that path again, I'm apparently doing it anyway. Whoops. 

... This is an actual text conversation that happened with Andrea a few days back. I'm. NUTS. 

Me: I keep seeing and hearing things. I'm scared they're going to put me on extra meds. But I just think there's a demon or something in this house. 
Andrea: Is there anything I can do?
Me: Wanna come cleanse the house with sage? JK that's ridiculous you're not an exorcist.
Andrea: lmfao that's a thing?
Me: The sage? yeah I remember that from my witch days. 

(my witch days is a whole different post for a whole different day)

... I don't hate Winnipeg winters. THERE I SAID IT. 

... I have a massive crush on one of my teammates but I can't do anything about it. 


... I have been listening to Dark Horse by Katy Perry on repeat since yesterday and I'm not even a little bit sorry office. 

... I had a really messed up dream the other night. Long story short: I was a queen, I was captured, I was rescued, I stabbed an evil witch, I made out with a hot dude. END. Hot dude is a real person too so it made it extra awks when I woke up and saw him the next day. 

... I've been holding back telling blog world about this but Fallon and I will be going to Disneyworld in September! World's best first date. We're bringing two of our real life friends with us too. It's going to be epic. 





Tuesday, January 28, 2014

End The Stigma

In Canada, today is known as Bell Let's Talk Day. For those who don't know what this is, it's a conversation about mental health that is stimulated by social media. For every tweet with the hashtag #BellLetsTalk, for every Facebook share of their post, and for every Bell customer that sends a text today or makes a call, Bell will donate 5 cents to mental health initiatives. Do I even need to state how much I support this?




I've previously discussed my issues with mental illness on the blog. I'm open and honest about my depression and anxiety because I'm not ashamed. How is it my fault that my brain can't function properly? How are my misfiring synapses something I can control willingly without help or medication? I can't. Just like a schizophrenic can't control their symptoms or someone with bipolar can't help their mood swings. Something is chemically or physically wrong with our brains. Just as much as you can't control your heart attack or your arthritis or any disease that affects any part of your body. Your mind is part of your body and deserves to be treated with as much care. 

Did you know that less than 4% of medical research funding goes to mental illness research? 

Did you know that 22% of Canadians are impacted by mood and anxiety disorders? That's almost 1/5 of the population. I'm not exactly a rare case. 

Did you know that 27% of Canadians are fearful of being around someone suffering from serious mental illness? Fearful. 

Did you know that right now almost 3 million Canadians are suffering from depression? Can you guess how many of them don't seek help because of the stigma surrounding it? Can you guess how many will spiral into such a deep darkness that they may not be able to come out for lack of support and help? 2/3 of people with mental illness suffer in silence for fear of rejection and judgement. But did you know that once depression is recognized, help can make a difference for 80% of people affected? 

It took me years to seek help for my issues because I didn't want to be labeled as crazy. I didn't want to be a statistic. I didn't want people to look at me differently. I didn't want to be different. Not getting help cost me relationships. It cost me friendships. It cost me opportunities. And it could have cost me my life.  

Getting help was the best choice I've ever made. But that wasn't the only reason I was able to start fighting back. I have an amazing support system. I'm lucky that my friends are among the 49% of people willing to hang around someone suffering from a mental illness. That's less than half the population who are willing to stick around. My friends and family are the reason I'm still here. Not my medication, not my therapy, and not my doctor. Without my support system I would never have had the courage to face my disease. I would not be where I am today. And not everyone is that lucky. 

So take part in the conversation. Visit the website. Start a dialogue on twitter. Talk to someone in your life who may need you right this very moment. END THE STIGMA.

Monday, January 27, 2014

Weekend Update & Heather's Story

Happy Monday my pretty little birds!

I had quite the eventful weekend for once. Friday I finally got my Llewyn Davis on and went to the movie with my friend Caitlin. I haven't stopped listening to the soundtrack since. I loved this film and I wish it was nominated for Best Picture because wow. 

Saturday I got to see my baby Brookyln for the first time since her birthday in December. It was glorious. So of course my mom comes over because she likes to steal all Brooklyn's attention a.k.a. I'm pretty sure she's ready to be a grandma but NOT YET MOM. 





Later that day, Stacey and i got our Masterchefs on and made a delicious meal for when Ashley got off work because we're romantic like that. Of course we got absolutely white girl wasted off wine and premixed shots. Then I had to go to soccer. So we all pile into my friends van and the game was hilarious and I apologize to my whole team. Sorry guys I promise I'll stop drinking before games. They were totally cool with it though and we ended up going to the Tavern Pub for drinks and shut it down at 2:30 in the morning. Have I mentioned how much I adore my soccer team? Plus we have cute boys so there's that. 




Sunday I had the parents over for dinner and they were just so shocked that I could cook. Thanks for the vote of confidence guys. Really... means a lot. 

But do you know why this weekend was as great as it was? Because I was extremely humbled on Friday by something I read about. I got to enjoy my weekend because I'm healthy. I don't have to worry and I can do what I want, how I want and when I want. We aren't all that lucky. 

Have you heard Heather Von St. James' story? Heather found out she had mesothelioma, a rare form of cancer caused by asbestos, after giving birth to her first child eight years ago. She had a risky surgery to remove her lung and it has been eight years since that surgery. Her husband is one of the most supportive men I've ever encountered and we should all be so lucky to have someone like him in our lives. I can't imagine what this family went through.



Febraury 2nd is known as LungLeavin' Day and they want all of us to participate. LungLeavin' Day is the anniversary of her surgery and holds a special place for the family. Now, they want to share it with all of us. How do we get involved and learn more about this horrible disease? Check out their website to learn more and participate by sharing your fears.



My dear friend Fallon will be hosting a link-up on that day where we can all share our fears and learn that we are not alone. Our fears can be conquered if we stay strong and focused. I hold a special place in my heart for cancer survivors as my family has been deeply affected many more times than I wish to count. So please help a great cause and let's celebrate Heather's triumph!  



Friday, January 24, 2014

The Pits & The Peaks

Pits

* I tried making chocolate chip cookies last night and I wanted them to be ooey gooey and they turned out just ewwwy. 
 
* I burned my chicken enchiladas in the crockpot this week. 

* It was consistently around -40C all week. I had to go out and shovel the sidewalk and I think I got frostbite.

* I got stuck in the driveway trying to get to work one morning and I know I got frostbite from digging myself out. 

* I forgot about the load of laundry I had downstairs and it froze in the washing machine. FROZE. How is that even possible?

* Adjusting to being alone in a house that isn't mine has been difficult. I keep hearing noises, seeing things, all around being crazy. I went from a tiny house full of people all the time to this silence and it's driving me bonkers. 

* I realized there's only one more week of American Horror Story Coven left and I feel empty now. 

Peaks

* My favorite raunchy Canadian, Kathy from Vodka & Soda, became my first sponsor. YAY! I love her blog and was stoked to have her hang out on my sidebar for a month. 

* Hugs from my favorite little munchkins at Brownies made everything better.

* I saw Frozen with my mom & sister on Monday and it was amazeballs. I want an Olaf. SO. BAD. 

* I get to see Inside Llewyn Davis tonight, finally. Shout out to Caitlin for being my new bff.
 
* The Jets won four games in a row. Four. It was magic, long live Paul Maurice. But then they lost last night but still. It was a huge burst of pride to know our team can do it. 

* I got my retail job back which means I will soon have money to plan a trip with Fallon. All the yesses to this because I will finally get to meet my lil bugaboo!

* I was reminded how great of a friend Andrea is. She stayed on the phone with me while I checked every room in the house for a possible intruder even though I was being completely ridiculous. And then put up with some seriously unstable texts last night. No more Criminal Minds for Melissa...

* My sister and I had an impromptu movie + delivery night and I finally saw Brave and it was perfection.

* But best of all, I went to the Wedding Show with my beautiful friend Jenn. I cannot believe she is getting married this year. Seeing her in a wedding dress almost made me cry! She also had the chance to test out some wedding hairstyles and she looked so pretty!




My week was more eventful than I thought. I'm going to leave you all today with a song from Frozen because IT IS SO GOOD. So everyone Back that Azz Up to Olaf the cutest snowman in the whole wide world. 


In Summer by Josh Gad on Grooveshark


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Wednesday, January 22, 2014

I'm A Big Fat Liar

So remember how I said I would never work retail again? Remember that? REMEMBER!?

I'm not even sure where I wrote that but I know I did. I said I would never go back to retail now that I have a career and a real full-time job that involves the actual use of my university degree. But then bills started to pile up, payments needed to be made, furniture needs to be bought and I want to take a trip to Kansas. So I did what I said I would never do. I asked for my old job back. I'm that jerk that quits and then 10 months later comes crawling back because #monies. 

So bring on the incessant folding of clothes, the screaming children, the aching feet, the "mall people". Bring on the arguments over one freaking cent differences, and coupons, and crazies. I'm going back starting next week. I don't entirely hate the thought. Since it'll be part-time and not my main source of income, my stress will be less, my responsibilities will be less, and I get to work with all my friends. Because Courtney is the assistant manager. Oh yeah, that's how I met these three loves of my life. 


So yeah, I might hate actual retail, but I get to spend my evenings with my friends. And I get to see cute babies again. So it's not the worst decision of my life. 


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Vent Session: Adulting

There was a lot I wanted to do on Saturday and didn't get around to doing it. Like going to American Hustle by myself. Which I was really looking forward to. Why didn't I go? Oh maybe because I slept until 1:30 pm. Get your shit together Melissa that's not cool. So I wake up entirely too late which makes no sense because I went to bed at 11 pm on a Friday because I'm obviously the coolest cat around. Anyway, wake up angry at myself, go to make lunch and realize there's no food. Or juice which, let's be real, is the only thing I was actually looking forward to. 

So now I'm sad because I have to go grocery shopping but it's a Saturday so it's going to be crazy and I don't want to be around people. Then I pick up "Let's Pretend This Never Happened" because I also wanted to finish reading that and it was on my list of things to do. But then I forget to start my car to go grocery shopping and an hour later I go to the fridge to get juice (because I have the short term memory of a goldfish apparently) and clearly there isn't any so I cry because I just really want juice. And for some reason that reminds me that I have TWO LOADS of laundry in the washer/dryer from the night before that I forgot about. And then I remember that I'm supposed to shovel the driveway before it gets too cold to do so without risk of frostbite. So what did I do? I went to my mom's. And avoided it all. And ate delicious home made food and pretended I still lived there. 

All of this led to me having to suck it up on Sunday and go grocery shopping and now I have 5 jugs of juice and 18 juice boxes because clearly I never want to run out of juice again. But because I forgot to shovel the driveway, my car got stuck in the snow when I was leaving for work yesterday. Which led to another meltdown of course (shout out to the kind neighbor who shoveled out my tires, you're a god). And then I remembered I STILL hadn't taken out the laundry...

Living alone is hard y'all. 


Monday, January 20, 2014

I've Officially Lost It

I'm as stuck in life as I am in Candy Crush. And yes, you read that right, I just compared my life to Candy Crush. I am aware how ridiculous this sounds but just hear me out. For those who play Candy Crush, the struggle of getting stuck on a level is a deep one. It literally becomes all you can think about and your one goal in life is to finally see that last jelly explode or stupid cherry drop. I'm there right now. I'm on level 350 and I just. can't. get it. This level has been a week. Sometimes, I get stuck for a month. And right now, my life is mirroring my gaming habits. 

Let's pretend that the cherry represents my dreams. I get closer and closer each time, but I never quite make it from here to there. I try hard, I use boosters, I do all I can in my power to move towards my goal. But I'm strategic, in the game and in life. So picking up and chasing my dreams without being financially sound or having no plan would be like handing my phone to someone else and letting them beat the level for me. I need the satisfaction of beating that level MY way. 

At the end of the day, when you have no moves left to make, sometimes all it takes is a little bit of a shakeup. Then everything begins to fall into place and I am getting pretty close to needing one. So I will keep going, I will keep strategizing (it is refusing to recognize strategizing as a real word but I swear it is), I will keep playing until I run out of moves. And then I'll let my life shake me up and point me anew. 

My therapist would probably tell me I've definitely lost it since I'm using CANDY CRUSH to explain my emotional state right now, but what does she know? She's leaving me. True story she's moving to another province. Maybe she's why I'm having an absolute meltdown? EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVES ME. But really, don't go. And if anyone has the name of another really good therapist please let me know, I clearly need one. 

And also, can you please tell me how to beat this stupid level?

Friday, January 17, 2014

Take It From Me...



We've all made mistakes. It's human nature to mess up. I never regret anything I do as long as I can learn a lesson from it. I also try and help prevent my mistakes from being repeated by other people. Because there have been some real doozies I tell ya. 

Take it from me when I say...

If you want to break up with someone, have the decency to do it when you know it's time. Instead of dragging it out for weeks and doing it on the night of your 20th birthday, completely intoxicated, in a parking lot, outside of a bar, in front of all your/his friends. For the second time. 

If you want to say sorry, don't wait forever to do it. Or else you might end up writing the most embarrassing letter of your life. While completely intoxicated. 

All inclusive resorts are not a free pass to get blackout drunk and pass out on a beach. With a guy you've known for 3 days. Whose real first name you don't even know (Hi Knox).

Don't go ham in Target when your credit card is already almost maxed out and you're only shopping to feel better about your life. You will end up with the fugliest home decor simply because "it was on sale".

When you're starting on a new soccer team, don't go to a dinner theatre before your first game, drink your weight in fruity drinks, and then throw up at half time. 

I'm starting to sense a trend here... Take it from me when I say learn to handle your alcohol better than I do. Let's change tactics here for a second. How about some serious life lessons I've learned. 

Take it from me when I say...

Not knowing what you want to do with the rest of your life is okay. Changing your major 3 times is also not the end of the world. In fact, I encourage you to chase multiple passions. 

People change their minds but that doesn't mean you're a bad person. Falling out of love is okay as long as you do it with kindness and grace. 

Don't be afraid to be alone. You want to try that new restaurant but no one to go with? GO. Movie in the theater you want to catch before the Oscars but no one else wants to? GO. Don't be afraid to be with yourself; especially in public. If you can't have fun with yourself how can you possibly expect anyone else to?

Practice saying no. I say yes too often and end up with more on my plate than I can handle. Saying no gives you the freedom to be picky about what you do with your time. It also leads to less stress overall. 

Get help if you need help. No one should judge you for taking care of yourself. 



That's all I have. I don't want to sound like a lush or get too preachy. These are all real lessons I've learned. I cannot wait to see what you all have to say!





Thursday, January 16, 2014

Sally Hansen CSM & A Sunshiney Rachel Giveaway!

I think it's pretty clear to everyone around me that I'm absolutely obsessed with nail polish. All I ever do in my spare time is paint my nails. Not even a little bit sorry because there are so many colors in the world to try and I get so giddy about it!

Ahem, moving on. When I got an e-mail from Influenster saying I qualified for the Sally Hansen VoxBox I think I peed a little. FREE NAIL POLISH! Yessss. I'm a little bit of an Essie whore so trying a new brand gave me a bit of anxiety. Good thing the nail polish was actually kick ass. 


It's a 7 in 1 polish which I didn't believe at first. Obviously. I'm a huge skeptic. But it proved me wrong. The brush was so easy to use and it went on smoothly. That's a huge bonus because I kind of suck at painting my nails. Especially with my left hand so this aided the process. I also love that I didn't need any top coat. No top coat and it's also chip proof? SOLD. 

I ended up trying two of the three colors: Jaded and Pat on the Black. Pat on the Black is hands down the best purple I've ever used. Look how dark and vampy it is! *me-ow*. 

(seriously, I'm terrible at painting my own nails no judgement!)


Pretty safe to assume that I now hold Sally Hansen in high esteem. Now I'm going to be a brand whore for both Essie and Sally Hansen. Yay for new products! Thanks for letting me give these puppies a try Influenster and Sally. I love y'all!
*I received these products complimentary from Influenster for testing purposes.*
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There are few things I don't love about blogging. I love every. single. aspect. ALL OF THE BLOGGING PERKS. Okay anyway. If I did have to choose my one favorite thing? The girls I've met. You know when you meet someone and you just click immediately? Yeah, that has happened to me thanks to the internet and I am floored at the beautiful, strong, successful ladies I've met. 

One of my blog besties is celebrating her one year Blogaversary! I'm so proud of my little Rachie! In honor of this, all the best ladies (imho) in blogland have come together for one seriously great giveaway. Come celebrate the last 365 days that Sunshiney has spent in our lives!







a Rafflecopter giveaway

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Humpday Confessions

Before I get on with today's post, I want to wish my pretty little bird Rachel over at Sunshine and Sinatra a very wonderful one year Blogaversary! I'm so glad you took the plunge one year ago today because it led me to you! xo

On to the main event. One of my favorite fellow Canucks, Kathy, hosts a Wednesday linkup that I clearly need to get in on. So without further ado, these are my confessions (great now I have Usher stuck in my head...).

I confess:

...I watched two seasons of Bob's Burgers in 1.5 days over the weekend. Not even a little bit ashamed. Thanks again Netflix. 



...I only recently discovered the joy that is Spotify but I pretend I've known about it for longer than a week. 

...I told an 8 year old that Egyptians used to shove a hook up a dead body's nose to pull out the brain before they mummified them. I think I left a lasting mental scar. Whoops. 

...Then I fought with her over a puppy sticker because it looked like Doge. I really shouldn't be in charge of children sometimes. 



...I lied a lot this week about my phone dying so I didn't have to talk to anyone. At all. Just so I could binge-watch Workaholics and eat rice crackers with no pants on. 

...The someecards desk calendar I bought makes me happier than getting laid ever could. 

...I really want to go to a movie by myself so I can enjoy the full experience without paying attention to anyone else but my family and friends judge me so I haven't. But I'm going this weekend so suck it haters. 



...Buying new socks instead of doing laundry sounds like a better plan than sucking it up and doing laundry. 

...I steal food from my parents instead of grocery shopping cause lazy. 

...I requested 23 books from the library online two days ago and they're all about serial killers, murder, the FBI and CSIS. Welcome to my obsession. 

...I was really motivated to lose weight two weeks ago but now I just want all the greasy things. I haven't broken yet. But I might. 



There you have it. My confessions for this week. In other news, I didn't post yesterday because I was updating my About Me page and figuring out how I wanted to offer sponsorships. Well it's all up and running now so go take a peek!

 Have a great rest of your hump day and for any Winnipeggers, stay warm, it's getting nasty looking outside. 




Monday, January 13, 2014

The Big Boom and My Baby Sister

I'm late to the party today but I just really don't care. I still haven't consumed enough coffee this morning to make up for staying up late all weekend. So what you're going to get today is a short little post. 

Friday my little baby sister celebrated her 22nd birthday. Anna and I made an appearance at my parent's house to say happy birthday to her (and to eat cake, which we never got, but whatever!) and I made her take pictures with me. She hates pictures. She also hates me like 95% of the time but it's cool, I love you Sarah!



After these pictures were taken, Anna and I peaced it back to my house (it's so weird to say that, even though it's not technically my house) and then we did this. 

this is what we call WGW (White Girl Wasted)

I was up until 3 am and haven't been able to catch up since. Poor Grandma over here. Oh well. Saturday was by far my favorite day of the whole entire weekend because I went to Celebrations. Celebrations is a Dinner Theatre here in the 'Peg and it's the actual best. My parents, sister, aunts/uncle, cousin and other people from East End Community Club and myself went to celebrate the end of another great year and also my aunt's retirement. The food was phenomenal, the show was absolutely hilarious and the actor's were so on point. The show was The Big Boom Theory 2. The actress who played Bernadette had her voice down perfectly and Leonard had mastered the facial expressions. I actually felt like they were the real characters from The Big Bang Theory. If you've never been to a dinner theatre GO. It's the best 4 hours you will spend I promise you. 



One of the actor's thought Beast End was funnier. 

So that's my weekend. Sunday consisted of a lot of cleaning the house and dinner at my parents. Dinner at my parents was followed by raiding their freezer for food because I was too lazy to go grocery shopping. So thanks mom :). 

Hope everyone had a great weekend as well! Did you do anything exciting?

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My Best Blog Friend (BBF) Fallon and I have come up with a really good idea. Well, I mean every idea we have is good, but this one is really good. We're hosting a link-up this Friday called "Take It From Me". Aka probably the best (re: worst) advice you might ever receive. I also want to point out that Fallon made this little graphic below, therefore it is her fault that hilarious is spelled wrong, but we don't really care. WHOOPS. We want to hear your stories too, so link up with us on Friday!