Thursday, December 5, 2013

Jolliest Bunch of Assholes This Side of the Nuthouse

Christmas traditions are my favorite traditions. Christmas in my family has always been longer than one day. We actually begin our festivities on December 23 and go until after boxing day because that's just how we do.

I have a big family. When I say big, I mean my dad was 1 of 10 kids in his family. Add my mom with her two sisters and I have approximately 20-22 first cousins, not including second cousins (who I see fairly regularly) and step-cousins. So Christmas has always been one chaotic day and also a little cramped. 50+ people in one house can get a little tight but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Even though the family is huge, we're all incredibly close and my cousins are some of my best friends.  

Christmas usually looks like this: 

On the 23, we start by making homemade Priazzo and waiting for Santa to come by my aunt's house on his sleigh. As a kid, it was so magical to have THE Mr. Claus pull up and have a photo op. It's really just my uncle in a red suit on a trailer being pulled by a truck but when you're 8 it's pretty magical. 

it gets cold waiting

last year the kids could barely contain themselves

On Christmas Eve, we used to go to a friend of the family's and drink beer, eat cookies and watch whatever sport happened to be on at the time. But for the last 4 years, a new tradition has begun and it might be my favorite part. 

On Christmas Eve, my sister and I haul our butts down the street to our neighbors and party like it's 1999. By that I mean we each buy 1.5L of Baby Duck and watch Christmas movies while eating some delicious dips and laughing our faces off until well past midnight. I've mentioned before that I had some brothers and sisters from another mother and mister. Eric, Lynn and Colin are like family and four years ago we thought it would be a great idea to get drunk and go tobogganing and just like that a new tradition was born.

Movies that we indulge in range from Bad Santa, to The Grinch, to whatever the heck happens to be on TV that night.

this was taken two years ago on Christmas Eve

Christmas Day we wake up extra early to open our presents. Dad would start brewing the coffee, throw the turkey in the oven for the day and we open our gifts all together with my mom's favorite christmas c.d. in the background. We have sat in the same spots on the floor since we were born. Mom, Me, Sarah, Dad. Nothing changed year to year. And then last year tragedy struck: my mom FORGOT the Christmas orange in the toe of my stocking and I had a FIT. How could she forget?!?

Christmas Day was marked by Christmas breakfast which is why we had to be up so early to open our presents. It was always at Grandma + Grandpa Suggitt's and it was my favorite because yum breakfast food. Also because yay presents and for some reason A Christmas Story was always on. My grandpa would be stationed at his beloved basement bar and we'd help him roll cigarettes and sneak m&m's while waiting to eat. 

Since my grandparents passed, my Uncle just down the street from me took up the tradition. That was pretty great because I was older and generally I'm hungover on Christmas morning (see baby duck on Christmas Eve) so it was nice to roll out of bed 2 minutes before having to make an appearance and scarf down some eggs. This year will be the first year that we change it up. This year, we get to celebrate Christmas morning at my Aunt & Uncle's farm. Skating on the creek, running around outside and (I'm hoping) a morning bonfire. I absolutely cannot wait to start a new tradition with my family.

everyone is usually grumpy cause it's early

and then last year the furnace broke

winter coats almost didn't cut it

After breakfast, we usually head over to the local rink and go skating, and by we, I mean everyone else. While they all do that I have my infamous Christmas nap. It's my favorite tradition.

Christmas dinner is almost always at our house. And for some reason, it has always involved dancing and/or singing of some sort, whether to a video game or just because we got a little rowdy on our own. 

even Grandma gets in on the dancing action

Boxing day is usually a hot mess. Everyone is hungover from Christmas; food hangovers, alcohol hangovers, chocolate hangovers, all the hangovers. So we gather at my aunt's to watch world junior's hockey games, eat copious amounts of appetizer food, gamble with dice and sing karaoke or dance. 

The night tends to end more often than not at a local dive bar my family frequents: The Royal George Hotel. Caesar's and beer for all!

I swear we're not alcoholics. 

At some point across these 4 days my parents and I watch Christmas Vacation as a family and we still laugh just as hard every time. The Griswold's are our spirit animals. 

And just like that this post got way out of hand and became a novel. If you've made it this far I thank you for sticking with me. 

Merry Christmas from my family to yours


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  1. How cool! I wish I had some really neat Holiday traditions besides getting super drunk on Christmas Eve haha.

  2. Daaaaaw I love your family already, I wanna meet them (and you....#priorites)
    One of our traditions is making signs (with our names on them) for Santa to put our big gifts.
    So, I totally get the sitting in the same spot thing. We have new furniture this year (comfier) so I'm looking forward to taking a cat nap between gift openings #thatgirl

    › xo fal •

  3. Wow that sounds fantastic! So much fun family time!!! And drinks! haha :) I think the World Juniors are a big deal everywhere in Canada over the holiday season!

  4. I'm so jealous of your big family! This all sounds like so much fun! I love how grandma gets in on the dancing action.

  5. We have no holiday traditions, I plan on making some this year and doing them every year.

  6. Can I come over and celebrate xmas? K thnx. Pass da beeeeer mon

  7. All the reasons why you and your family are marvelous :)