Thursday, November 21, 2013

Match Made in Hell - Linkup

Dating is hard. Seriously. It used to be so easy before cellphones, the internet, and social media. Sorry I'm single mom but I can't just walk to the next cave over and drag a man back with me. It ain't like that anymore.

Plus, there are a lot of rocks to sift through before you hit gold. And man have I ever sifted some big rocks lately. 

Online dating is relatively new to me. I've discussed some of my crappy dates before (here/here/here) and I'm about ready to give up. Today I want to focus on Tinder. If you don't know what Tinder is you can kindly crawl back under your rock right meow. I heard about it from a guy I work with (shout out to Dylan) and I was curious so I downloaded it. 

Tinder is what would happen if Hot or Not and Facebook had a baby. I'm not gonna lie, many a night has been spent in utter glee swiping mutts to the left and hotties to the right. Don't judge here, because I have been on a few dates with guys I've met online and they either look nothing like their pictures or the chemistry doesn't transfer out of cyber world. Attraction is the first part of dating, you don't wanna go out with someone you're not attracted to. (I'm not saying they gotta be a dime but you personally have to be attracted to them.) Tinder makes that easy. Right for hotties you wanna bone and left for the nexted bastards. 

Here are some examples of what you're most likely to come across: 

You get the comedians...
I obviously swiped right.

Baller status

The ones that make you consider becoming a cougar...

Liam Hemsworth, is that you?

And the ones that make you swipe right so fast you might get carpal tunnel...


Let's take a little stroll down Melissa's Tinder memory lane. 

rush into things Richard

This guy just gets right to the point

Jon started out fine enough...

...and then went crazy. 

Apparently he didn't like my sass

I don't have time for Hey

Thomas didn't like where this night was headed. 

Is it really amazing? Is it?

Sooner or later you're bound
to match with a friend of a friend and your friend
 will take over their Tinder and try 
and troll you. So thanks for that Dylan. 

All in all it's entertaining.  I've met up with two guys from Tinder and learned two very valuable lessons. 1) Pictures can lie. 2) Don't go looking for a relationship. But it can be a lot of fun and a great way to pass the time when you're bored. Plus you get instant validation when you see that beautiful "YOU HAVE MATCHED" screen come up. Plus you'll probably hear you're hot a lot and that's nice too. 


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  1. I loved reading these conversations! Too funny!

  2. i love you this is hysterical. Oh how I just freaking love tinder its so pathetic."I dont have time for hey" #BOOM

  3. I can't even "HARD PASS!" (thank you for that pitch perfect reference).
    I had a friend telling me about tinder the other day - oh my gosh...what an interesting app

  4. oh my lanta. this is fabulous. not really for you, but for me. also let's go back to cave days seems so simple.

  5. Is it amazing? Really. Cracking up, even though I've seen most of these.
    I love this. And you. As always.

    › xo fal •

  6. I have never heard of Tinder but it sounds hilarious!

  7. This is PERFECT. Oh how I wish I took screen shots of my Tinder before I deleted it! Ugh, all the regrets