Wednesday, October 9, 2013

That time I turned 21...

I curse you Allie and Juliette and all the rest of you. This link-up is equal parts horrible and amazing. So obviously I have to participate!

Here in Canadia Land, we actually get to legally drink at 18 (or 19 in some awful provinces). Wouldn't this mean that by my 21st birthday I should have been a seasoned veteran at the sport of celebrating your birthday at a bar? One would think. That is clearly not the case here. I had 3 years to prepare for my 21st birthday, which in all honesty isn't a big deal here, and yet I still managed to be a complete and utter WRECK that night. 

I fought with my then friends about my then boyfriend. BOYS ARE STUPID Y'ALL. I was hammered by about 7:30 so clearly it was already well on its way to being a gonger of a night. 

 My eyes are closed for WHO KNOWS WHY.

Yeah let's totes pick our noses cause that's super sexy...

I of course decided to have my birthday shenans at Cowboys for the third year running. What a lovely place that is, so many memories. Like the time I passed out on the sidewalk out front. Or the time I broke up with my boyfriend in the parking lot. Or the time I got up on stage with the band and danced and embarrassed the living heck out of poor Andrew. Or the time I went and spent the whole night rampaging to find some girl to beat her up (yeah right drunk Melissa you're such a wimp). Or the time we went and I danced on the catwalk. Seriously.. I was a mess. 

Anyway, so we walk through the doors at Cowboys and what do I do? Immediately run off by myself. Why? Who knows, I was drunk. I spent the majority of the evening by myself accepting random drinks from strangers and dancing. My poor then-boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he didn't drink a single ounce of alcohol that night and I left him standing upstairs alone.

Then this happened and I don't remember it at all...

I HATE TEQUILA. I have no idea how Andrea & Jenn convinced me this was a good idea...

 Mark Jacques? Is that you!?

Oh hey High School, nice to see you at my birthday. I also don't remember taking this picture.

So then I left the bar with my then-boyfriend. His sister and brother-in-law so kindly picked us up and listened to me YAMMER ON for like 20 minutes about how great it was that they'd found each other. Uh, what? OK. Cool Melissa way to make a great impression of CRAZY. 

I also decided that was the night I would try smoking a J for the first time (SORRY MOM AND MY WHOLE FAMILY FOR ADMITTING THIS). So I did apparently. In a garage with his brother and some people I'd never met. Such a great idea Melissa. 

The rest of the night was spent with me running to the bathroom to puke my guts out and my poor boyfriend was up all night taking care of me. Props for grabbing a mixing bowl and placing it beside my head. Smart boy. 

And then the next day was Easter so that was horrible. I wore sweatpants. And couldn't eat any of the delicious food. LAME. 

So there ya have it. My 21st birthday involved a lot of things I don't remember and a lot of throwing up. I think my abs were in the best shape they'd ever been after that. 

Feelin' 21 Link Up


  1. Thanks for cursing me, you're a gem. WINK.

    I'm pissed at you for having such great hair on your birthday.

    And I love this.

  2. Ugh drunk throwing up is the worst! At least he was nice enough to give you a bowl!

    1. A bowl for your throw up, not the other kind of bowl! Hah

  3. You are super pretty! Don't worry, we have all had those nights :)

  4. Oh my gosh this is awesome.. story of my life. When I'm d-runk I just run around and talk to strangers. Also, one time I smoked while drunk and I threw up for days. Never a good idea haha.

  5. Um being drunk by 7:30 is clearly a win. And I'm totes jealous that you can drink at 18 or 19 in Canadia. My birthday can end up being near Easter sometimes too and that's awful when you have to share it.