Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I Don't Know Anything

I really want to be a writer. There I said it. I want to write. All the time. But I want people to read it and feel something. Anything: good or bad. Just have a reaction, elicit some sort of response from my writing, because that's what good writing should do. It should make you feel.

But what do I know, I'm only 23. 

I really want to go to Grad School. I don't know when it will happen because I'm tight on money but I know it will happen one day. I keep saying it and working towards it because I like having a goal. 

But what do I know, I'm only 23. 

I already know what I want in a relationship. And what I want in a man. And I'm not going to settle. 

But what do I know, I'm only 23. 

I know how I want to raise my kids. i want them to grow up to be strong and independent and confident. I want them to know the beauty in the mundane and I want them to be able to dream as big as the stars and believe they can do anything. I know how I will discipline them and more than anything I know what I won't do.

But what do I know, I'm only 23.  

I know exactly the kind of person I want to be. I want to find joy in the simplest things. I want to be creative and understanding and open-minded. I want to be tough-skinned and not afraid to speak my mind. I want to love myself and love spending time with myself. I want to read everything. Everything I can get my hands on. I want to be kind and generous and not afraid to love. I want to look back in 50 years and know I said yes as much as possible. I want to get rid of "NO". I want to laugh every day and feel my heart smile. 

But what do I know, I'm only 23. 

I talk about things I want. I tell people where I want to go and who I want to be and how I feel. I'm met with a lot of "Oh you say that now" or "That will change, you're only 23" or "How can you know any of that, you're still young". Just because I'm young doesn't mean I don't know what I want. 

Yes, some people don't know what they want. And there are certain parts of my life that I'm still unsure of. Do I know which grad school or degree I want to commit to? No. Do I know what it is I want to write? Not always. But that doesn't mean I'm clueless and have to float on through my twenties in a giant sea of questions and identity crisis. 

I have dreams, goals, ambitions and I've already figured out what's important for the next 50 years of my life. #sorrynotsorry

So please, next time you feel the urge to tell me "I don't know anything" just keep that comment to yourself. We'll talk in 10 years.






4 comments

  1. I love this. And I love you.

    But what do I know, I'm only 22. ;)

    xo fal • falfindshappiness.blogspot.com

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  2. This is such a great post!! You are amazing and inspirational, no matter what your age is!

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  3. you tell them!
    i will say that some of the things i wanted at 23 have changed/developed/slightly shifted now that i'm 25 - priorities are different. BUT that doesn't mean that EVERYTHING has changed. No you know who you are at 23 - could you be a little different in 5 years? sure but certain characteristics will never change.
    If you want to write - write.
    if you want to explore - explore.
    you're right, you don't have to "float around in your twenties" LIVE your twenties! :)

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  4. sounds like you're not giving yourself enough credit for knowing quite a lot at only 23 :)

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