Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Don't Be That Couple

Day 3 of Relationship Week or as I like to call it: Now What?

You're in a serious, committed, adult relationship. Congratulations on making it this far! (God knows I barely ever do). Now what?

You're past the awkward are we even dating stage, the unknown label limbo, and it's safe to say you're finally comfortable around each other. This could mean you're 2 months, 6 months, or a whole year in. It's different for everyone. (Please don't let it be 2 months and you're already moving in, that's just so ridiculous...)

Anyway, you're at the stage of a relationship where it's less about the other persons "special parts" and more about the person. You're falling/already in love!

Which essentially means I'm singles everywhere are going to hate your stinkin' guts.

So pretty please with a freaking maraschino cherry on top do NOT be that couple...

The couple that says "We"

"We like The Voice. We love the Olive Garden. We love to crochet." 


The couple that judges my single behaviours

"You know, before Derek, I was just like you but, binge eating a bag of Oreos and marathoning Orange is The New Black is just so sad..."

You have sex. I have Oreos. What of it?

The couple that refuses to set you up

"I just don't know if his friends are really your type.."

Hi. Male that breathes is my type. (JK I'm not that desperate). 

The couple that moves at the speed of light

"We're just so in love that we're going to buy a $500,000 house after being together only 3 months and we're already engaged!"

I'm just gonna grab my popcorn and watch this crash and burn.

The couple that names themselves

You know... Brendan + Rachel = Brenchel.   Corey + Annie = Cornie.    David + Ashley = Dashley.

Seriously. This is a real thing. 

The couple attached at the hip

"Is it cool if I bring Tyler to girls night?"

I'm sorry it's called girls night, not girls plus one clingy husband/boyfriend night. Get yo shiz together. 

Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate all couples. Just these ones. I'm pretty fortunate that the majority of my friends do not commit any of these heinous offences. But these are all real examples of things that I would just appreciate you didn't do when you're in a relationship. At least around me. And probably a lot of other people. 

All in all, I really am happy for any of my friends who have found someone to love. I really am. 

1 comment

  1. You have sex, I have oreos. <-- I am dying.
    This is why we're meant to be bloggy BFF's.

    Xo Fal