Monday, September 30, 2013

Shenanigan-less Weekend

My weekend was super lame. Like, beyond a doubt no one wants to hear about it. 
I'm still going to tell you about it though. Brief description coming your way in 3, 2, 1...

I read A Game of Thrones for a majority of my Saturday and Sunday and I'm still not done and I'm officially obsessed. 

Then I was supposed to meet up with a boy but boys are stupid so obviously that didn't happen. 

Then yesterday I went and saw Prisoners which was actually one of the best movies I've seen as of late. 

THAT'S IT. THAT WAS MY WEEKEND! I need a life. 


Here's a cute picture of a puppy to make up for me wasting your time today.




I actually feel like I shouldn't even be linking up with Sami, so to save some embarrassment I won't even put her pretty little link-up button. It would just be tragic since this weekend of mine involved ZERO shenanigans. But visit her blog anyway. 





Friday, September 27, 2013

Baggage

Day 5 and the last day of Relationship Week here on the bloggy blog. This is the post I was the most excited to share with everyone. I spent a week talking to people I know, who were so kind and willing to participate in my survey.

To start off have you heard of the television sensation Baggage (not sensational but I'm obsessed)? If you haven't, follow this little linky here to get an overview from Wikipedia. It's hosted by Jerry Springer so it's obviously hilarious.


Anyway, I watch this show on GSN and Cosmo pretty much err day. It inspired me to see what people IRL think Baggage is and what theirs would be. You see, on the show it's clearly exaggerated (or maybe they just find some of the weirdest human beings possible, like this one). I had this notion that what we might consider our own baggage, wasn't in fact a big deal. As in, it wouldn't be a deal breaker or easily dismissed by other people.

To clarify a little bit, what the show considers baggage doesn't have to be heavy stuff. Your own baggage is something you believe could be a deal breaker for someone. Something that came from a previous relationship or experience in your life, or even habits that you have that might be a little odd. As for someone else's baggage, it's just considered something you wouldn't be able to date someone for. Again, emotionally or a weird habit.

I asked friends, family, and acquaintances two questions: "What would you consider your baggage?" and "What baggage could you not accept from a new partner?" I said I wanted to see if the baggage people thought was a deal breaker for others was really all that bad in reality. Guess what? It wasn't. This shows that we're all a little hard on ourselves! What we might think is the worst flaw in our character, or the worst part about ourselves, is never as bad as we think.


Unfortunately, we're hardest on ourselves. Yes, some of them were a little weird (lookin at you Andrea), and others made sense if you'd been cheated on or had a bad previous relationship. But guess what? Most people will look past that. It won't cross their mind as a reason not to date you. Everyone has been hurt and that's okay. 

The second question, I was interested in finding patterns. What are common things people are not okay with from a new partner? I actually wasn't very surprised. The "baggage" that recurred the most in the answers was the inability to accept someone who had cheated on a previous partner, or someone who was still hung up on/not over/in love with/still saw an ex. 





To read it in full, you can just click here!
Some names have been changed to keep anonymity! 

Are you willing to share your baggage? I'm interested to see what people think is a deal breaker! 

Have a kick-ass weekend and thanks for sticking through Relationship Week with me. Now everyone... #backthatazzup!








Thursday, September 26, 2013

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Day 4: Breakup Stories!

You didn't think I'd go through this whole week and not talk about how awful, uncomfortable and just plain awkward breakups can be, did you? 

Today I'm going to share some stories. About my breakups. Because I've never had a good one. Ever. They've all been super awkward or just downright terrible. I've been both the dumper and the dumpee and I honestly don't know which is worse. It just sucks. Breaking up SUCKS. 

By now, you're all pretty aware of just how awkward of a human being I am. So imagine me being thrust into one of the worst situations you can possibly experience. My first breakup was with my High School boyfriend. He should have seen it coming, I mean avoiding him like the plague for 3 weeks can't be a good sign...

Anyway, I used to work at Subway, so one day I called him and asked if I could come over and talk to him after and I guess he panicked. Because he showed up at Subway. So I had to do it there, because his mom had driven him and she was waiting in the parking lot. So I did it in the storage room. WTF. Just so awkward. But it was my 18th birthday the next night so I forgot all about it pretty fast. 



Next came my wild years. Like party hard, livin' the club lyfeeee (I'm such a white girl). So naturally, my next boyfriend and I met at a bar. And subsequently broke up at one as well. Not so much break up as me running away from him on my 20th birthday and then yelling at him in the parking lot, hammered out of my face that we were over (I knew I wanted to break up with him but I was so nervous I got mega blasted of course). Next thing I know the guy is taking off down a back lane. Literally running at top speed down a back lane behind the club and my friend had to go after him so he wouldn't pass out or get hit by a car or something. I'm seriously the worst human being alive. Then, instead of having an actual conversation with him the next day, I book it out of the city to a cabin with no cellphone reception to avoid him altogether. For two days. 

So yeah I'm really sorry about that.



The worst breakup I experienced came next. Melissa got dumped good. This one is particularly painful to relive because I went bat crap crazy. But to be fair, the dude broke up with me at 2 a.m. on a Saturday night while he was wasted and I was laying in his bed trying to sleep. And he didn't even turn the light on to look me in the face. And it was because he wanted to slut it up all summer. So yeah, I went a little nuts. I was basically a hysterical mess. NOT PRETTY. Plus we were supposed to go to his mom's the next day for a family BBQ and I had already made taco dip (guess who ate that whole bowl while self-pitying...). And the cherry on top of that one was that my entire effing family left that night to go to San Francisco for 10 days and my best friend had to fly off to Australia 3 days later. Like nice timing. I still wish I'd handled that one better. You know more Lauren Conrad cry than Kim Kardashian cry.




So I apologize for being a raving lunatic. And I'm sorry for what I may have done to your toothbrush while I was angrily packing my shiz.

Now it's your turn. PLEASE share your crazy/awkward/horrible/uncomfortable break up stories with me :) I want to hear them. AND GO!




Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Don't Be That Couple

Day 3 of Relationship Week or as I like to call it: Now What?

You're in a serious, committed, adult relationship. Congratulations on making it this far! (God knows I barely ever do). Now what?

You're past the awkward are we even dating stage, the unknown label limbo, and it's safe to say you're finally comfortable around each other. This could mean you're 2 months, 6 months, or a whole year in. It's different for everyone. (Please don't let it be 2 months and you're already moving in, that's just so ridiculous...)

Anyway, you're at the stage of a relationship where it's less about the other persons "special parts" and more about the person. You're falling/already in love!

Which essentially means I'm singles everywhere are going to hate your stinkin' guts.


So pretty please with a freaking maraschino cherry on top do NOT be that couple...

The couple that says "We"

"We like The Voice. We love the Olive Garden. We love to crochet." 


BE YOUR OWN PERSON

The couple that judges my single behaviours

"You know, before Derek, I was just like you but, binge eating a bag of Oreos and marathoning Orange is The New Black is just so sad..."


You have sex. I have Oreos. What of it?

The couple that refuses to set you up

"I just don't know if his friends are really your type.."


Hi. Male that breathes is my type. (JK I'm not that desperate). 

The couple that moves at the speed of light

"We're just so in love that we're going to buy a $500,000 house after being together only 3 months and we're already engaged!"


I'm just gonna grab my popcorn and watch this crash and burn.

The couple that names themselves

You know... Brendan + Rachel = Brenchel.   Corey + Annie = Cornie.    David + Ashley = Dashley.


Seriously. This is a real thing. 

The couple attached at the hip

"Is it cool if I bring Tyler to girls night?"


I'm sorry it's called girls night, not girls plus one clingy husband/boyfriend night. Get yo shiz together. 

Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate all couples. Just these ones. I'm pretty fortunate that the majority of my friends do not commit any of these heinous offences. But these are all real examples of things that I would just appreciate you didn't do when you're in a relationship. At least around me. And probably a lot of other people. 

All in all, I really am happy for any of my friends who have found someone to love. I really am. 







Tuesday, September 24, 2013

When Is It "Official"?

Day two of Relationship Week! If you missed yesterday's post you can read it here, which I highly recommend if you're not sure whether you're actually dating a person or not.



Today I want to discuss when a relationship becomes "official". You know... when you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend and no longer floating through the dating limbo that is the unknown. The labels. When does that happen? How does that happen?

There's some general opinion that it's when you have "the talk", when they start introducing you to family, when they start introducing you to friends as their "boyfriend/girlfriend", when it become Facebook official (puke), etc. etc. I've had a lot of one or two boyfriends in the past few years and it's never been concrete. Once it was made official after a drunken night in a bar of me introducing him as "my friend" and he wasn't too happy so he yelled that he wanted me to be his girlfriend (guess how long that one lasted). The most recent being I said I would be okay being exclusive but he wasn't listening (of course) and a month later I introduced him as my boyfriend and he went "Really? Okay". (Boys...)

Guess what? Every relationship is different. It's going to vary based on how fast or slow you take things and the comfort level of the other person in the relationship. Some people need the validation of hearing someone ask them to be exclusive, others just go with the flow and let things take shape on its own and it's just inherently known that you're not seeing other people.

Personally I need the words. I need the validation. I need to hear you say you want to be with me. I don't like subtle hints. So for me, I prefer the "what are we" talk. However, I also prefer not to have that talk until months into a relationship because I may or may not have some slight commitment issues. But that is a whole other story for another day.

But I can tell you one thing: if you're still using Facebook to validate your relationship status with someone, it might be time to rethink who you're dating. Or your expectations... Welcome to adulthood.



What rule do you follow to make things official? I'd love to hear your thoughts!



Monday, September 23, 2013

Relationship Week

Happy Monday everyone!

I had a particularly fantastic weekend because I was lucky enough to attend Eric & Mikaela's wedding. It was absolutely beautiful but unfortunately I overindulged in the open bar and therefore took one picture.

I don't know why I took this


When I say overindulged I mean Sunday morning I was my own worst enemy. I cannot shake hangovers as well as I used to. Anyway, that was the highlight of my September and I got to party with some lovely people and there were glow sticks sooo every other wedding can suck it. 

Oh and also I had an allergic reaction to a cat so my pupils did this and it was pretty creepy...

I spent the better part of Friday night believing I was possessed


Onto the main topic! A lot of my readers have sent in requests for posts. They have given me so many good ideas that all revolve around dating and relationships, so I dub this week "Relationship Week" on Making Melissa. 

Now as most of you know, I have pretty much no luck in the dating world as of late which you can read about here, here oh annnnnd here. So just wait a hot minute! How could I possibly have anything to say that's even remotely helpful or valid? Well I have been in relationships (some successful some not so much) which means I have limited experience to share with you all. Plus I have spent the last week doing some research and digging around into your lives so look for that post later this week!

To start things off I figure we need to establish what exactly dating is. 

Here's a list of things that are not dating:

1. Texting is not dating

"But we text 24/7!"
yeah I text my friends 24/7 too and I'm not dating them


2. Hanging out exclusively after 11 pm is not dating

That's a booty call

3. Keeping yourselves a secret from everyone and their mother is not dating

Take the hint sweetie, if they wanted to date you, they wouldn't be ashamed

4. Internet stalking is not dating

"But I know him. I follow him on Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Instagram, LinkedIn..."
HONEY NO

5. Meeting at Whiskey Dix (or any bar) every Saturday to hook up is not dating

Drunk banging is not dating...


6. Hearing from them only every few days is not dating

If they wanted to date you they wouldn't be so sketchy

7. E-mailing is not dating (see 1)

Have you even met? Didn't think so...


So for those of you who settle for any of the things on this list, just remember: 




Do you have anything to add to this list?


Sami's Shenanigans









Friday, September 20, 2013

Guest Post - My Sista From Anotha Mista


What am I passionate about?

Well before I get to that, here's a bit of back story. Melissa asked me to guest write for her blog, and as Melissa's lifelong neighbor and a lover of reading and writing, it was an exciting opportunity for me to put a bit of myself out into the blogosphere/interweb/innertubes/whatever.

 we're basically family, yo. 

So what did I really want to share? Most people would think that, as a music student (specifically a flute player), I'd have to talk about my deep love of the instrument, how music is the only thing that makes sense to me, etc, but that's not really true. What is true is that I'm a person with quite a few interests: cooking, human rights, hockey, politics, film, etc. I believe that most people have a similar number of things that affect their lives in important ways.

The really surprising part of all of this is that people get put into these tiny, little, narrow-minded boxes all of the time, where, because I'm a "musician", I'm automatically some snob that's going to bore you to death about classical music (which I do actually love... Although it's not the only kind of music that I listen to). Most of the classical musicians that I know are interesting people that attend raves, rock concerts, jazz nights, and Folk Fest, amongst other events that are non-musical in nature.

The thing is, everyone loves music. I think I can say that, of all of the people I've met, only one person ever expressed indifference to music. ONE PERSON. And he was very passionate about electronics and building robotic, gadgety stuff. 

To me, this just shows that it's not what we're passionate about that matters: at the end of the day, we all love different things, but that shouldn't be what keeps us from understanding each other. The next time you meet a musician, don't ask them who their favorite band is, or what kind of job they expect to get, anyway- I promise they'll thank you. Instead, talk a little bit about your own interests, and see how much you have in common. Remember: musicians are people too!  

That's all for now, 

LYNN




P.S. I chose this week's Back That Azz Up tune so enjoy. I know it's not exactly twerk it material but I just love this song.





Thursday, September 19, 2013

Throwback Thursday: An Ode To Marky Mark

Remember when Mark Wahlberg used to look like this?


Yeah me neither cause I was like 4 when he looked like this. But that's not the point. The point is, Marky Mark was the shizznit. This was reinforced by the fact that Good Vibrations came on the radio yesterday and it is physically impossible not to car dance when that happens on your commute. I actually think it should be illegal to do anything but crank dat and rock out. 

I've actually loved Mark Wahlberg for awhile now and think he's a pretty great actor, but let's not forget where this man candy came from. At one point, he was just a boy rocking some serious Calvin Klein...


Thanks for making white boys everywhere believe they could be tough, too. Thank you for making black and white sexy again. Thank you for never wearing a shirt. 


And thank you for making the 90s look so good. Now as an adult when I look back at my childhood I can appreciate more than just a tamagotchi. 

I LOVE YOU MARKY MARK.

Thank you for giving me good vibrations.  




Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Guest Post - Running With My Tiara On

Good morning my lovelies!

Today I am so pleased to announce that my dear blog friend Kelsey will be guest posting from Germany! She's pretty great so I hope you all enjoy :)




Hi there, Making Melissa readers! I'm Kelsey and I blog over at Running With My Tiara On and I am also Melissa's blogging big sister (which is awesome!) I am from America but I have been living in Germany with my husband, who is stationed here with the military, for almost one year. Being here is such an amazing opportunity but I thought I would share some of the reasons I miss home :)

Family
I am so super close to my family. Before we moved here I had never gone more than a month without seeing my mom and now I am at eleven months without seeing her! I miss watching my sister in law grow up. She had just turned two when we left and now she is three and has changed so much. Missing out on all the family gatherings in just so hard.

My sister in law on her second halloween, just over one year old. This was two years ago 

Food
Don't get me wrong, there is definitely some good food here but I miss so many of my favorite restaurants back home. And we have so few fast food places that I am actually looking forward to having a lot of them again soon. The hubs and I joke that we are going to gain fifty pounds our first month back!

Language
I never realized it was possible that take your native language for granted but it is. I miss being about to understand signs and not have to worry about if that sign says no parking or no entering because I don't understand the language. And trying to communicate when I am speaking to someone who speaks so little English is so intimidating!
Receipt from the first German McDonalds we went to on our first day here
Weather
I know this mostly has to do with being further north than where I lived back home but I am tired of having cold rainy/ snowy weather 8 months of the year, I am so ready to go back to 8 months of flip flops and everyone actually being excited about snow instead of dreading it.

Shopping
Of course we have places to shop but German fashion and home decor is so different from what we like that its really hard to find stuff. We end up doing the majority of our shopping online because of that. We also really miss malls. I don't know what it is about a mall that just makes it so great but we really do miss them.

I miss mall shopping!
Church
This one is really hard for me. I have found a great weekly women's bible study that I absolutely love but we haven't found a church we love because there are only two English speaking options around here. We usually end up watching sermons from our stateside church but I miss connecting with others in the church environment.

I really do feel blessed to be here and in so many ways I love it but it's impossible not to miss home :)
Image Map

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Tuesday Tip: Mental Health

You only get one body. A common saying to get you to be healthy and take care of yourself.


Well guess what, you only get one mind. So take care of that too! How much time do you spend working out and eating healthy? It's equally as important to spend time taking care of your mental state. Nowadays, we rush. We rush to work, and through our days, rush home and to our appointments. We have so much on our plates, almost double what our parents had to deal with. Add in devices like smartphones where we are constantly connected and your brain's "on" switch rarely gets turned off. The rushing and being on constantly can create a lot of pressure and a lot of stress.

As someone who has anxiety, I can tell you for a fact that it is so crucial to make time for yourself and to relax at least once every few days. For me, it has to be every day (but that's just to make sure the meds can do their job).

It doesn't need to be long. 10 minutes before bed or when you wake up may be all it takes. Sit in silence, read a book, take a bath, meditate, yoga... seriously there are so many options but you need to learn to make it a habit. A healthy mind is a happy mind!




Monday, September 16, 2013

Another Weekend Come & Gone

Monday is just the worst. Not always, but for some reason today it is. This weekend went by way too quickly. I don't feel like I watched as much Netflix as I should have...


ANYWAY. 

Friday the 13th is quite possibly one of my favorite days of the year. Which obviously means that I have a Friday the 13th movie marathon.


I had to convince Stacey to watch it because she's a big baby but because this movie is from 1980 it's not even the least bit terrifying so I win. And she watched it. And it was glorious. 

Moving on. 

Saturday evening was a big deal. Andrew Mitchell released his "Every Night" EP and it was a good time. 

Nic Dyson opened the show and let me tell you, this kid has a heart of gold. He's so talented and also so grateful & humble. Love watching him perform! 

IGNORE MY GROSS BAGGY EYES

Andrea & I were mega out of place at this show though. We don't do hipster very well so we didn't quite fit in. A.K.A we sat in the back of the venue with the parents drinking wine pretentiously and eating popcorn (I fully believe every music venue should sell popcorn cause it was great). We felt a little better once Kristen showed up cause she's a pro at these shows. And Jon made us feel a little more welcome as well (hey look Jon I put you in my blog!)

So onto the main act! Andrew killed it. It was the perfect mix of acoustic and sing along energetic. CONGRATS!



The rest of my weekend was really tame. Shopping and cooking and NFL Sunday. New Orleans almost gave me a heart attack but it's not okay. Just not so close next time boys.





Hope you all had a fun weekend! 



Sami's Shenanigans