Thursday, August 22, 2013

I Hate Dating

I've been inspired. My inspiration comes from Juliette... no The Other Juliette. Seriously this chick is one hilarious girl. I stalk her blog on the daily and she responded to one of my comments the other day and I was pumped. As in I want to be BFF's but have never actually spoken to her... awks.

Anyway, she wrote a super funny post the other day about her shotty dates from the past. Poor girl. I felt her pain and after reading the post (which you should read here), I was inspired to write my own.

I've been on some really bad dates. I have a really bad habit of choosing idiots. You would think I would have learned by now, but I have not.

So boys, if you do/say any of these things...have fun being forever alone.

That time we were supposed to go for lunch
(While driving)
Him: Hey we should go to lunch
Me: Yeah for sure
Him: Okay I just have to stop at a friend's and pick something up
Proceeds to leave me in the car in +30C, windows up, air conditioning off, no keys in the ignition while he goes inside for FIFTEEN MINUTES. So basically I was a dog... 

That time he fell asleep
(while on our first date)
Him: Wanna go back to your house to watch a movie?
Me: Yeah for sure!
(get to my house)
Me: hahaha, oh Michael Cera! Isn't he hilarious....
Him: zzzzzzzzzzzz

That time he took me to McDonald's
Him: I have somewhere special in mind
Me: *aw he's so cute surprising me after a movie*
Him: Mcflurries on me
Me: .......

That time he didn't enjoy my singing
Me: "It's a love story so baby just say yes!"
Him: Who sings that?
Me: Uhm Taylor Swift obvs
Him: Let's keep it that way...
Me: .......

That time he brought his ex-girlfriend
Him: Yeah I'll meet you there, I'm going to bring a friend too
Me: Okay cool can't wait to meet him.
He then arrives with his ex-girlfriend, who he had lived with, who is a bitch. And I STILL went home with him that night...

That time he was crazy 
Him: I love you
Me: .....
Him: Don't you love me?
Me: No. I do not.
Him: :) k love you.

That time I almost got a concussion
We were at a dog park in the winter. We climbed a mountain of snow.
Me: It's so nice out, don't you just love the snow?
Him: *PUSH*
I fell, hard. Smacked my head. He laughed. And I still went home with him...

That time he was gay (and looked nothing like his pictures)
I don't think I need to explain this one

Please share your dating disasters. I would love to hear them!


  1. LOVE YOUR crack me up girl :) - Alyssa

  2. Bahahahah... that singing one... Pete says the same thing to me all the time! I've fallen it for it more than I care to admit.

  3. oh my word i think the hand holding one is my favorite. ew.

  4. hahahahaha! Oh my gosh... I can so relate!! PS- so happy to know another non-married blogger! Sometimes I feel like the only one. :)